Wednesday, March 29, 2006
My previous entries are all shit.
Ha.
I'll be leaving for awhile.
Take care.
"Remember this Nicky,
You mean nothing to her,
and she means nothing to you too."
"Sighs, ok."
2:30 PM
caught
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Lemme just add on some pics as promised. (=

That's my ugly fat leg with the 2 bruises that was caused by the sliding of my knee on SMOOTH GROUNDS. blahs.

Little thing at work with me. That's one of the order tags!! =D 61 leh!

It reads 'Nicole the pig'. Stella's EVIL WORK!! She calls me a pig cos I love to sleep. Cos whenever she msgs...I'll be slping, all the time =X
_____
I could never understand what's making you stay...
And what's making me stay. Alright, I'm lying about the second part but ya, I could never understand why you're still here.
Like wouldn't it be a load off your shoulder if I just left or you just told me you saw no point to this anymore? No ah? More freedom ma...Nicky will no longer be part of you...Your heart will be lighter... Then you'll feel less obligated to do stuff or rather..just hang out with me for the sake of just being there with me. I don't want you to feel obligated anymore. Can?
I'm such a bitch la can, I admit. Just tell it to my face man. Why are you all still my friends leh? Tell me!! ARH!
Workie tomorrow with the cute girl again! *jumps. Or not I can't be bothered to go work seh. And I want to go swim and get my tan can! But it freaking rains every day now arr.
Training today was wah lau eh what's wrong with the world man...She made us run 10 rounds after drills. Of which 8 rounds of running...each round in 2 mins and 1 round she let us walk. So this time its only 9 rounds. Ya. All in the name of fitness. Runs and more runs.
My emotions has just been a rollercoaster of late. I'd be so damn upset and start to tear for no fucken reason then I'd be so fucking angry and scream vulgarities. I should stop drinking water because I kinda realise the excess water will go into my tear ducts. HAHA will it? =X Anyhow jer.
And wah lau eh this week just want to pass how fast ar. In less than a week I'll be saying goodbye to this island for about 7 days. But not much to worry because I have my girls with me la and they're all I need now! And we'll just throw Sonia into one of your bags eh?
Arh, need my dose of emo-ness at Mr Merlion's house and nicotine so badly.
Why do I feel like I've been disappointed by the whole world leh? This sounds so familiar can. Jill said it to me once that everyone else can disappoint you but only He won't. So ya, I've just been feeling so....alone... Like the thought of who I can turn to now will just be..Empty. No one. I just have to rebuild my faith again, slowly.
Who can I rely on anymore?
Sad to say, I'm sorry, but I don't think I see that in anyone anymore.
Only Him...and I've yet to find the strength.
But I understand, no one's perfect. We're all humans, right? So what can I expect from everyone else if I'm just going to let myself down... I must learn to accept myself before whatever la harrr. Sounds familiar eh? Been hearing this for the past 2 days by the one who has been talking to the team for the longest time.
I'm just so into myself la that I need to snap out of this shit, seriously and just wake up.
I want to go wash up and go to sleep. Freaking tired and my muscles hurt so bad that I can hardly walk properly.
Signing out.
I don't want to be the Nicky that
you all once knew anymore...
I know I'm going against Jill's words, again, but sorry I can't bring myself to be nice...not anymore.
10:54 PM
caught
Rushed off after training today because I was an hour late for work! Jill was 'lecturing'. And yeaps it was her who took us for training today. (= Some long team talk thingy and you know how much she talks larrrr...And a short game after that. Played like 2 freaking shifts and left! BUT IT WAS GOOD! Thankiew Daddy for waiting for me and sending me to work!
Everyone was so nice at work today arr. HEE. Had fun. Stella made me NICE ice milo because the one I made suck like big timeee we just had to throw it away. Still working on it alright! Usually I don't make my own Milo la! IM A PRINCESS WHAT! LOL! =X Dinner was good too, I guess. And she was just carrying my little ducky with her today ar and fattening the face up. UGLY! Will show you pics when I transfer them to my comp! Yes the little duck was sitting on the cash register today as well...
We sound so free ar and ya la the place wasnt even crowded today can. Like ghost town. It was only 15 mins before I ended work that all the customers decided to come. Was keying in orders as fast as I can and helping her make drinks whenever I could. Wah liew who comes to eat and drink at 10:45pm la. =X Ok ok Nicky shhhh.
So nice to have people around me eh at a time like this where being alone will make me go crazy. Scary.
Training tomorrow and late lunchie with Jar.
I should go down ar to SSDC and book my first practical! Arghs, checked out the slots...Not much left for Friday, the only day that I have free this week ar. Better go down fast fast and book. Leceh nyer everytime must go down! If my freakin' printer had ink, I could just book online larrr. GROWLS.
And there he is telling me about her when I'm....... Hmms ya. I feel bad...but...ain't my fault...she made it clear already what.
AND..
It's only wise if I let things go. Let the matter rest. Just be professional ___ mates and that's all, nothing more and nothing less either. I can't see clearly what I did wrong and I don't want to blame myself for no reason at all but if that's the way someone wants things...I'll jolly well give it to him/her, that's me I guess.
Jill said today something about being nice..And I'd have to disagree with her. Why be nice seh. I know I'm crazy, sorry, but ya...Being nice is my weakness... I'll become soft-hearted one and it has to stop because it's being used as a weakness ar.
You think I'll be there all the time from now on?
You think I'll allow you to use me when you need me and chuck me aside when you're done?
Well, hell no, you're wrong man... I ain't going to be the Nicky you all know anymore.
I don't want to be the one on 'standby'.
I'm tired of that...and I hope you jolly well know it.
Spare me your excuses la eh. I'm tired of the way you manoeuvre your way out...all the time. And I can be stupid enough to give you space to do so.
I'm so contradicting la eh because I'm like that.
End of story seh about this matter. Moving on.......
I can't wait for Melbourne's final briefing and room allocation *stares at Seri* What if I said really comes true!?!?! =X HEHE. I'm like damn excited to whack and slash la. WAHAHAHAS. And shop..and eat!! IM GOING TO BUY SO MANY APPLES WHEN WE GET THERE!! HEE! (= I need to make a shopping list too! My own packing list...and what I need to bring along to Australia for Mummy asap as well. AHHH. Time to get organised. HAHA. Okie, will settle that tomorrow.
OH man..Did not realise the time. EH. 1:56am. Why I not tired eh.
Kk...AM GOING. LONG ENTRY AGAIN!! Tata... (=
A simple kind of lovely (:
1:58 AM
caught
Monday, March 27, 2006
My head is spinning, my eyes hurt like fuck...
I have no more flu though but argh my knees hurt like hell!! I can't kneel down or what la even bending my knee after staying stagnant at a position KILLS!
AND WHY THE HELL AM I UP SO EARLY!!
And I have the weirdest dreams last night. FUCKIN' WEIRD!!
Kept falling at yesterday's match. HUR, till the referee said this to me at the end of the match,
"Try not to fall so much okay."
APER NIE! YOU THINK I WANT TO FALL MEH! FUNNY AR U! Haha.
Friendly cum training later and it's off to work for me. Thank God man I start work late. HUR. And no work for me tomorrow. Like really "THANK YOU LORD!".
It's funny how we'll only remember Him when we're in need. Like all the little details and good stuff somehow sometimes we'll forget that without Him, nothing is possible because yes His strength is the greatest!
When when when can I go for my first practical lesson. Looking at my little book, ahhhh like don't have eh free day. Aper nie. Haha. I want to go for one session before I go Australia can anot?
AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GO CLUB GIRLS!! GET WASTED WITH ALL THE DRINKS AND NICOTINE! AHHHH!
And from today onwards, I'm going to go around with an apple in my bag. Hehe. I found apples in my fridge SHERILYN!!! =) But getting more apples for me doesn't hurt la har. HEEE.
Guess last night's sleep made me feel...better?
I still feel 'sigh-ish' but much better compared to last night. See, was just the lack of sleep I reckon.
Kk...I better get going. Like pack my stuff and all although I have so so much time to spare. Wahahas. Maybe I'll just go back to sleep. HUR.
10:46 AM
caught
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Kanina chaocheebye.
Thought I could come home to some peace but fuck no some asshole just want to spoil it all for me. Fuck.
You mixing with that fucken grp of people made you like that. Stop trying to fit in la fuck. They will just make use of you knowing them. Kanina.
That just had to make my mood fucking worst.
I woke up at 0530, had work at 0630 till 1030 then my match was at 1400 and I stayed over at TSH all the way till the 2000 match ended.
Match today was....Okay.
Played the entire match okay, thought I was going to die la freaking tired and my stamina sucks.
Don't know what to say but after not playing so long, it sure does feel good. And Girlfriend scored (= WELL DONE!
Last season it was the first match that got me thinking like this.
This season it's the last match. Kanina.
History is obviously repeating itself. High hopes makes Nicky a silly girl. I feel so damn stupid la har fullstop. No no exclaimation mark. HUR. Who am I man to expect so much.
Slept almost the entire match during Saints and Genesis. That's how tired I was because I din know the match was already at 3rd period when I woke up. Thought it was only the 1st period. Woke up just to catch Moosemen and Merahans. WELL DONE MAN MERAHANS! WOOHOO!
Was with my music most of today, just din feel like doing anything else but sleep, watch match and blasting my music. Din want to go home either so just stayed put there. I feel so damn fucking sick and tired la har. Now I fucking can't wait to go to Australia, leave everything behind for 6 days. Just me, floorball, Adroits and Melbourne fullstop.
Swollen eyes and mad thoughts...FUCK ALL OF THIS!!
And Sonia, sorry for leaving just like that.
11:25 PM
caught
Saturday, March 25, 2006
It's okay, maybe I haven't reached that level where I'll be the first person you think of whenever you felt down.
(Cos you'll b the first in mind.)
And I don't feel good about it knowing that you're always there for me and I can't be the the same for you. It just sucks okay.
But whatever, I'm always here, just so you know.
And I don't want anything to change just because I blogged this down. Just let things go with the flow la k.
Bye.
11:02 PM
caught
Friday, March 24, 2006
I feel like drinking Chinese tea.
Went for some big dinner la today. Grandma ordered so much food! And out of all the seafood I only had the tom yam soup, stingray and kangkong. HEE =) SHIOK LA K! Changi Village there. MUAHAHAHAS.
School again la today. Oh man. Joreen idiot made me go all the way to Airport to find her then we headed down to school with Kok Siong in the bus with us arr. Don't know why man today so freakin' tired. Think it's my monthly best friend, making me moody. Sorry Precious if I wasn't my usual self today! We just slept in the bus..all the way from school to ys. Eh, and I stared into space most of the time la har.
Headed over to SSDC from there. HA, the classrooms all just want to be how cold la. My fingertips were so cold that I could not touch the 'touch-screen' properly k. Had to press so hard so many times ar because I could hardly feel my damn fingertips!!! The jacket wasn't of much help considering there was nervous-ness during the freaking practice and test!! AND I PASSED. MUAHAHAHAS. *bows* Thanks for everyone's support. HAHA giler. Attempts to scare people on the phone did not work la. One asked me, 'HUH GUESS WHAT??'..another one kept imitating my 'HUR'. Blahs.
AND IT'S A FREAKIN' FRIDAY! Means, another week burnt. OH MAN. That leaves us with...3 weeks! =( Just want to be how fast. KANINA!
I want to go training on Monday and Tuesday CANNNN! FUCK I THINK IM WORKING! Going to ask Ah Mei change. HUR. TOMORROW. MENTAL NOTE PLS REMEMBER NICKY!
I'M TIRED.
And I have so many rivals want to take away Girlfriend away from me la. HOW. Kanina. She's MINE ar.
Okie, going to slp. Morning tomorrow. 0630 =( SIGHS.
TATA.
11:59 PM
caught
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
I have the craziest idea that came to mind when thinking about stuff today. My mind was so set on doing it that I msged the 2 girls that holds the "key" to my youknowwhat...and one gave me a 'lecture' and the other called me crazy but said I could do it if I wanted to. HURR.
And conclusion...
Yes I'm going to do it.
Got opinions from others as well, not very good response la har. I mean, why would it be good also? HEH.
I M EXCITED NOW =D
My day's just the worst today =( Did not feel good at all. Spilled the whole damn coffee all over the place...That caused everyone to hassle to clean up when the place was so damn crowded. THEN I FREAKING DROPPED KAYA TOAST COS IT SLIPPED OFF THE DAMN PLATE. ARGHS. =( I was practically shivering at work today because I felt so lost suddenly. Then I became so tired but I just kept on working and working, kept clearing tables and refused to eat when I was asked if I wanted to. I din even go on a break, not once. Okay I did go to the toilet to check my hp and all. But that was it! I was on my feet from 0630-1300. I have the strongest leg ever now la I think. Then I waited for Mum to end work by sitting in the skytrain and going to and fro T1 to T2 back to T1 then T2 (you get the picture) like 5 times. Then finally stopped at T2 and went to meet Mum. The viewing mall there's so tiny now la compared to the one at T1! NOT NICE!!
And we wenta have Swensens!! =) HEHEHE.
Then my mood uplifted abit cos good food and ice cream makes me happyy. (=
And the ice cream is damn pretty la!!!! Here it is!

PRETTY RIGHT! Like how executive lunch looking laaaa. Cannot take it.
Then now I'm sleepy because I'm sneezing and yes, am gonna fall sick cos my head is pounding as well so I guess I should go face the fan at my face and sleep...My bed is calling at 6:20pm! =X
BYE!
6:22 PM
caught
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I'm so so so so tired!! Might just turn in early tonight for once. I hope I'd b able to fall aslp though. And work is becoming sucha dread but it's okay, my motivation is the fact that I have to you know yang nu ren (support ladies). HAHAHA. And if I want to go for countless dates and just have fun, yes. And I need plenty money to do that. HAHA. Nicky's mad. The exhaustion (if there's even sucha word) is getting to me so bad.
EH no work today like I'm how happy la CANN!!! =)
It was school for fund raising in the morning. HUR. The girls tried to rip me off...WANTED ME TO BUY A PACKET OF DRINK FOR 1 FREAKIN' DOLLAR LA cos i refused to buy lunch!!!! But i din give in till they slashed the price so ya. HUR!!! And lunchie and movie after that. Mad hot ballroom just want to be how nice laaaaaa. CUTE NYER!! Go watch k... Then it was just walking around. Walk walk walk walk...Aimlessly. HEH. Then went back to the north...and back home sweet home. Sweet home. *pui. Come back only kena naggings seh. AND IM NOT HAPPY LA K.
But thanks, thanks for today. (=
I have to learn how to be contented that she's still there after all that has happened and not ask for more hor? Yes.
K. Tired la.
I WANNA GO SLP! BYE!
the feeling in me was so bad,
that longing feeling....for you,
although you were just nxt to me.
9:10 PM
caught
Sunday, March 19, 2006
I don't want to go work anymore =(
I just want to slack and burn my hols away cann?
Feeling so fuckin' lazy larr.
But it's all for Australia.
All for my many wants.
And all for that girl's 10 carat diamond ring.
HURRR.
Talking about burning hols.
HEH. 2 weeks have gone...JUST LIKE THAT!!
But come to think of it, it went by like damn slow la! KAN? HUR.
Let's recap what I did...
I worked..worked...and worked.
SO PRODUCTIVE. Well Done Ni Ke! (=
SO IN CONCLUSION!
There's 4 weeks more to go!
Next week..Which starts tomorrow, will be working FREAKIN' MORNING 0630 WHOLE FREAKIN' WEEK!!! Except Tuesday that is. (=
My 4th-10th April week will be spent in Melbourne.
Means I have 3 weeks. Enough la har?
PP, PP, oh PP. MUST, get it done. MUST MUST.
Thinking about first day of sch's so tiring. =( Imagine just the thoughts are tiring...HAAAAA. Nicky mad! Then the real thing howww. I need plenty wake up calls at like..0530. HUR.
Okay la, I'll update later? HUR. End work at 2200 today, either that or 0000. HUR.
And tomorrow morning 0630 start la!
New week already eh...
Means...
All the best for your exams ya? (=
STUDY HARD and SMART alrighht?
You'll be in my prayers. *hugs.
I'll be here! (=
Alright, I want to go watch tv and eat. HUNGRY!!
TATA!
whispering those words,
holding you so so close.
why must it all b a dream?
11:48 AM
caught
Saturday, March 18, 2006
i know i promised.
a million times.
but i'm sorry, i cant.
i cant give u what u want.
just cant...
i tried, i did...
and you know it...
but i'm sorry...
really am. sheesh.
just came home like an hour ago from sonia's place. she cooked but i din eat cos...i dont eat that meat la harr. sorrrryyy. =( erms. ya. and her niece is so damn cute! cant wait for her to send me the pic HEEEE!
i think i'm pms-ing. goodness. everything's just getting to me again. arghs. shldnt have brought it up when, erms, i was asked about it. when will i ever let it go man seriously. growls. and it's freakin' 2am.
i must look forward, erase everything behind me. if she doesnt care, why shld i. =( ahhhh. nickyy. nickey. key. and nic is the lock. hur sonia came up with that. and that was so random. but ya, funny la har. but why din it mean anything to u. huhhh? where did i freaking go wrong? huh? sighhs la.
and no la, im not talking abt u.
i want to forget everything now. knock my head, erase the memories. just do anything to forget that part of my life and just let me go on. far far away from those stupid thoughts. ah fuck i cant slp. must have been that tea. and my itunes aint making things better. ahhh kanina la.
now it just has to play micheal buble's 'you belong to me'. hurrr. the walk home just now was so lovely cos tonight's breeze so damn shiok la. had my ipod for company and hurr i had 3 freakin' shadows!! dont we all just have 1? and it was like...1250am? hurr. but nvm the shadows all looked the same so it was just me walking alone. i hope =X hee. madness la nick. there i go talking to myself, again. die la harr.
and i feel like eating chicken wings.
dinner party later over @ nicole's, and yes we share the same name, me and my sec sch mate.
match. team talk. eesh. so many things, all at the same time.
depressed already. bye.
to view other entries, find the archives. hur. i'll stick to one post now.
2:18 AM
caught
Friday, March 17, 2006
update@3:53pm
Still can't stand the fact that,
it meant:
NOTHING.
_____
update@12:23pm
CANT TAKE IT!!!
KANINA JUST WANNA TORTURE ME HOW BAD!!!
sighs.
_____
Finally a peaceful night after work, all alone in my room! My sister's over at her class chalet and I have my music blasting. WOW. And it's almost 2am but who really cares. Have to wake up early to help my Mummy with the stupid things at home HAIS! But it's okay, my Mummy have been taking care of me so long le, time for me to help out la harrrr. HURR.
Anyways, some situation going on here eh...
C'mon let's stop blaming each other le okiee? I guess there's some sort of miscommunication going on...
Everyone's just getting each other wrong. And yes I read Liying's blog and hey, am really sorry I can't go down alright? Work constraints but of course I'm thankful to you guys for helping US to raise funds for OUR living standards in Australia...HUR, the most we help you all do laundry? I also don't know what to say la harr but I guess everyone is seeing things very one sided eh and everyone is just being sensitive now la harr...and jumping to conclusions about certain things we say or blog about.
LET ME EXPLAIN BEFORE I GET BOMBARDED TOO!!! Being sensitive means...NOT REALLY A BAD THING BUT!! Guess everyone's so caught up with our own thinking that just saying a little bit will agitate us without much thought? YES, that kind of sensitive okie. NOT THE CHILDISH KIND, but...the ya la you all get the picture... All pass English right...Floorball girls English quite good ma right? =X
And if everyone's just going to get angry with people speaking their mind in the first place at respective blogs and tagboards, I don't see that need for a team talk la har.
But hope you all will take things in with an OPEN MIND, instead of jumping to conclusions without thinking twice.
And I reckon that's often the cause of conflicts?
K now now, let's all be good and stop squabbling?
I'm sure, NO NO, I believe that we can all talk things through and have smiling faces on the 4th of April at Changi Airport Terminal 1 okieee? *hugs.
AND keep up the good work to those who has been going down to help and to our new leaders especially... KAYS? HUR, the most I cook for you all la har in Australia. BEST I CAN DO.
Sighs, this entry is tiring my puny brain!
I hope I did not say anything wrong in this entry. HURR.
BACK TO MY NORMAL ENTRY!
Work was okay. Tiring, busy at times and I kept getting calls and messages. AHHH. Pardon me if I couldn't reply fast or answer those calls. So many private numbers somemore!! Please leave a message if you want me to call you back! Will be working the WHOLE of next week except Tuesday. HURR God bless me. MORNING ALL THE WAY LA. Nevermind, at least my day won't be wasted by sleeping in eh? AND YES I'LL BE GOING BACK TO TRAINING NEXT WEEK! Cheer for me, faster la!
HEE work work work equals money money money. I can just feel my Billabong bermudas okiee. And I haven't been getting good responses. I know I have plenty berms already but it doesn't hurt to get just ONE more right? *pouts. Don't like that laaa. HEE. I know i have 7 already but 8 is a good number so SHHH! I want one more, I DONT CARE. I MUST HAVE IT! One day wear one ma...If rain then one cannot dry, I can always use the 8th one what right? WHO AM I KIDDING. HAHA. =X But wah lau eh. I WANT LA. I can't believe I freakingly blogged one whole paragraph about BERMS la! So crazy.
She finally replied, yeaps. Got excited when I saw in my email that I received a message from you la on Friendster! You left, just like that, without a word la sighs. Good to hear from you... *HUGS. Sighs. =(
HUR next time NO ONE IS ALLOWED to just leave me quietly in Singapore like that ar and run away to some far country where the only cheapest connection we have is the internet and snail mail!! HUR. Idiot. I'll cry one leh!
I just heard something, my bed's calling, so loudly.
And I have people waiting for me in dreamland. HEE.
I must get to sleep already goodness... Mum's going to wake me up like how early la! Daddy will be home tomorrow too (= YAY!!
OKIEE! I'm going, i'm going.
THANKS, to those who read up to here. =X I LOVE YOU ALL the most.
TO THE REST, so you all think you all wasting your time la, dont wanna read finish la HUH!! THEN WHY ARE U ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? COME SEE MY PRETTY PICTURE ON THE LEFT ONLY ISIT?!?! =X KANINA!! I love the ones who read finish more than I love you these group of people!!! HMPH!! HAHAHA. =X OKAY KIDDING KIDDING.
YUCKS LA, just want to be how act cute NICKY!
But no need act la har, I'm already cute. HUR. OKIE.
I'm disgusted.
And one more thing, Pray people...especially in times like these.
I must start my praying thingy before matches already =X REMEMBER ANOT WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME GIRLS?? =X PAISEH!! The juniors will not know la har, but the seniors..HURR..was teased for such a long time la.
BUT really it helps because His strength is the greatest and without Him and his strength, nothing is possible. And I will commit everything to His hands...The One who made me who I am today. (=
Thanks to my 2 youknowwho(s) for letting me see that. (=
BYE!
2:23 AM
caught
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
I WANT THOSE BILLABONG BERMS PLEASE!!!!!
BEFORE ANYONE ELSE FREAKING GETS IT LA!
REALISED ALL THE NICE THINGS I WANT ALL PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY!!
$79.90!!!!!
AHHHHH!!
Think I should get a loan to buy it then pay back when I get my pay? HELP ME!! SHOULD I? Flood my tagboard and tell me what you think!!
_____
I want you here with me NOW so badly. =(
Really really. HUR.
Wish I could just take my mind off things because it sucks, big time. All these just won't leave me alone even during the holidays. ARGHS.
1st week burned...2nd week in the process. Did some useful things I reckon. 4 weeks more to go before I go back to my 2nd home. Then a week will be spent away from home which gives me only 3 weeks left! AHHHHHHHHH!!
PRECIOUS, when you read this, MESSAGE ME!...HUR, it's about O levels okay! LIKE DAMN IMPT! But no no don't msg, CALL. You got till 24th March to call because registration closes on 25th March!
And guess what, I'm mad ar, haven't complete PP yet. All I have left is CONCLUSION! Arghs, just a little inspiration and motivation will do but I'm always on the move these past few days...If only I had one day at home....ALL TO MYSELF....Then I'd do it. OKIE, the weekends then. LOL.
Alright, I need to go bathe and all and get ready to leave the house....Again.... Don't like arrrr. I want to sleep sleep sleeeep. HUR. Lucky I slept so much at the chalet to make up for all the lost sleep NOW! Why isit lost? BECAUSE I wake up to a blardie dry throat and nose every freakin' morning at 8am!!! ARGHS. Then I'll start coughing, my nose will hurt so badly and then I won't be able to go back to sleep la! ARGHS. Stupid throat. GROWLS!
HAIS. Bad temper...Bad everything. NICKY EH!
I miss Jill. HUR.
Now in all I do, I gotta have faith, right? =) *smiles.
Trust and leave everything in His hands. And everything will be alright. I believe.
OKIE. I got to go la harr. TOO LONG STORY.
Good day (=
11:32 AM
caught
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Update@11:32pm
I don't know who to trust anymore.
Everytime I take up my hp and want to type out something...
I think about who I'm going to send it to...and I realised, there's no one, completely no one...
I FUCKING HATE THIS.
Everytime I look through my MSN list and decide to tell someone,
Again, I go blank...No one... Just no one...
Maybe it's just me...
Maybe I'm the one at fault...
I think it's true, yes.
I'm problematic.
So you know what,
Leave me alone...
Whatver it is, this entry is for me, DON'T, i repeat, DON'T fucking assume.
_____
MY ROUTE FOR 14th MARCH 2006:
Home
SSDC
NYP
SSDC
(thankiew for waiting ehhhhh, paiseh)
TM
CS
Home
Went to walk a lot a lot with Sonia. Ate a lot a lot of junk food that's going to kill my throat and make us both so so fat =X And ya my throat ain't getting any better at all after drowning myself in water, drinking coconut juice, consuming cough syrup and the most recent one today drinking LO HAN GUO! EEKS. Went to the sinseh shop to buy it and it's disgusting I tell you! HURR. It's black somemore. SO SO BLACK. Then that's about it (= But it was all good. Just that laksa, fried fish wantons, crispy chicken and chocolates (we bought 2 big bars!!) should be stopped. HUR. And that's all what I ate today. Nicky eh. And I'm sitting here eating my white chocolate now. LOL! =X SHHH la don't nag.
HEE. So that's all la ehh for today. Haven't been updating.
Sunday was Yanzi's bday (= Went over to the bbq over at the chalet. HMMMS. Monday was school for Aust stuffs and then work...THATS ALL. BORING. LOL!
OKIE LA. Nothing to say. I'm happy because I have 2 big bars of chocolate now in my fridge, ALL MINE! The white chocolate I bought today and the one Sonia bought me on Saturdayyy (= WHEEEEE. CHOCOLATES!
Eh, I'm going...
Leave you guys with that pic!

This is the disgusting black drinkkkkk.
TATA!! =D
9:15 PM
caught
Saturday, March 11, 2006
update@12:02am
HEE, to cheer me up...Sonia got me a big big bar of chocolate (= So unexpected and so nice la. I LIKE. *my heart's smiling* HEE. Thankieww! (=
So I went church today. HEHS. Guess who came with me. HAHA. Sonia. Yes. Church was not so boring after all because we were sitting the front area or not most of the time I'll be camping behind la but sit in front can pay attention so ya =X
HEE. So I had good company for church which will motivate me go church so in conclusion right if I wanna go church, must have someone with me, other than my parents...If not I won't be motivated. HAHA. Sonia, u should just go with me every week OKIEEE? =D
And yeap...Wanted to go Mintmark & Co but she too tired so we headed to Tamp Mall instead to look for stuffies and had our dinner over at Cartel. (= UHHUH.
My throat ain't getting better...Think I'm gonna lose my voice man, seriously. Pain la. Drowned myself in water, no use. Drink coconut thingy (yucks) no use also. Lozenges doesn't work either and no no, no doctor. Freaking waste of money, he'll give me lozenges too -.- HURR. This pain is gonna stay with me, FOREVER. HUR.
Alright I need to go sleep. Got my lessons in the morning. SIGHS. Another morning thing. Weekends this week all wake up so early. Today 730am, tomorrow 7am. SIGHS la. BUT ITS OKIEE. =) Another whole day of fun to look forward to after my lessons. WHEEEE! =D Then from next week onwards my schdeule's in a mess la. Training schdeule ain't up yet. Wished they'd have fixed schdeules then I can plan my work schdeule and my daily schdeule as well. HURR. I need to chiong work and I only have 5 weeks to do so.
Just copied the whole of The Best of Air Supply album to my comp =X You all will be receiving Air Supply songs from me soon la. LOL! Chances (= NICE.
ALRIGHT. NEED TO SLEEP! Talking too much! TATA!!
And what if we can't speak
What then shall I say
Don't you be too long
Something has gone wrong
The chances are all gone
_____
It feels weird everytime you're around.
I guess it may just be guilt weighing down on me and what I've done was simply so uncalled-for.
Self-control, that's what I lack, so badly.
Body language tells it all...
Either that or I'm too sensitive.
But I'm sorry darling, really am.
I don't want your impression of me to change...
I still want to be the Nic that you knew from the start.
She asked me, 'Ni bu yao lian le ah?'
And it was then that I realised, this is too precious for me to let go...And I told her honestly that I'll be back. (= It's just a matter of time.
- SixtyOne.
5:23 PM
caught
Friday, March 10, 2006
Thought I've found someone who'd understand,
someone I could trust about everything.
But I guess,
your intentions are now clear,
and it's not what I thought it was...
it's not what I expected...
It means nothing......to you.
Now I feel lost...
There's a tug at the heart but I'm still as confused...
My thoughts are in a mess...
Everything else is...nothing.
For now, it's me, work and driving, FULL STOP for these 6 weeks,
making you an exception of course (=
I'll be there, anytime you call.
I'm crazy. Slept for about 3 hours this morning, came home at 630am...then went out again at 10am. Bank, bus down to the driving centre, enrolled, Jill came to pick me up after that and headed over to her place for lunch (= Yummy okiee. Her maid cooked I think and they're like damn funny la those two. HEEE. And yes, today was what, my 2nd time sitting on her bike. First time, aft Wednesday's lunch. JEALOUS?? HEHE. That woman goes crazy on her bike but so damn shiok la I LOVE IT! Okie, then it was church to put down her ice hockey stuff, Ikea to get the KC girls chocolates and to BMSS for the KC C-Girls Championships. (= Congrats. 4th place in Singapore! WELL DONE GIRLS! Damn exciting matches. Then I headed home. Damn tired la.
So that's my day.
Am so glad these hols are finally gonna be packed (= I won't be lazing around for no reason at all. I need to earn back my money. For driving and yes, for Australia as well. Guess I'm gonna work hard at it since I'm using my own money eh? (= Faster chiong la eh and get it fast. By 2 months? I HOPE! HAHA. Impossible but hurr I WANT before my big day that is.
And my throat is fucking pain! It's itchy that I cough so badly. Cough too hard now it's pain!! PAIN LIKE HELL LA. =( And I talk funny, till I go out of tune =X
HURR =( PAIN LA!
and I have nothing else to say. I'm too tired la harrr.
BYE.
9:51 PM
caught
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Okay just let me say a few words before whatever la harr.
I'm having the worst sore throat ever and it's only at night that I cough and cough like crazy. ITS SO DAMN ITCHY CANNNN. =( Even when I cough it doesn't help clear my throat because the cough is so damn dry and now my ears hurt in the process. BLAH LA. =(
Out for lunch later with youknowwho. *winks. I can hardly wait.
Then I'll head over to Pasir Ris after that.
I'm going to start work, soon. MONEY MONEY for my driving. AINT CHEAP ALRIGHT. Checked out the fees already. HUR. Can't rely on Daddy alone can I? So yeaps. (=
OKIE, I need to start packing. ARGHS.
Will be back, soon. (= Don't miss me too much now.
There's still websms okie. I think 5 cents for sms is too expensive so don't waste money HEE. Just click on websms, I added the link. AND if you intend to msg, leave ur name. No time ah to guess guess all. -.- LOL!
AND I MADE A LIST OF THINGS TO DO DURING THE HOLS.
- Complete PP!
- Buy those Fishies
- Chiong driving!
- Cycling *ERHEMM.
- Loads of catching up with whoever!
- EXERCISE BABY!
- BE A GOOD GIRL. HAHA. =X
- AND EARN PLENTY MONEY!
(THATS ALL, for now.)
TATA LOVES (=
it beats,
for just one. (=
10:08 AM
caught
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
update@11:37pm
I'm excited!!! About tomorrow till Friday! =D
HEE. (= *winks.
And I have a facial mask on, it's tightening! LOVE THE FEELING!
NICKY VAIN NYER!!! =X
OKIE I'm damn high la cos too excited already. SHHHH now =X
TATA!
_____
Clad in the most comfy clothes ever,
here I am, lying on my bed in the air con room.
The weather's a killer, you know?
It exhausts me like crazy just walking out in the open a bit. Either that or I'm just tired because I slept at 3:25am and woke up at 6:30am today. )= Double exhausted la.
BUT IT'S STILL SO DAMN HOT LA!
KC today for my PP (=
Like early in the morning. =( 7:45am.
It was 1 hour of Math and 1/2 an hour of PE during the 'sit in' of her lessons. Sat at the staff lounge for a few more questions, a chat with her and made my way down to the canteen to meet my Sis for her recess. (= Miss KC a lot a lot.
Meant to meet Precious after her prac but the girl wasn't feeling good so yeah. Take care okieeee. *hugs. Plenty water now! And yes so I headed off home.
Was dozing off in the bus and I hate changing buses laaa and both bus rides was so quick. I almost missed my bus stop okie if I did not wake up earlier. HUR and now I can't sleep. Shouldnt have switched on the laptop. BLAHH.
Realised that I haven't updated in a while eh? Nothing much has been happening anyways. Just going to be jam packed this week. Can't say the same for next week though, the calendar looks empty for now. I need to work now now nowww. =(
Yes, I'm going to Melbourne.
This is what my desktop looks like:

Look at the red 'post it', it's packed. Compare that to the yellow post it, it's EMPTY! Ask me out, find me a job. Anything. =(
I need to sign up for driving, like soon la HUR. Next week then since I'd be so damn free. HEHS.
OKAY NOW I'M HUNGRY.
I'm going to do some hunting at the place opposite my room. TATA.
2:34 PM
caught
Saturday, March 04, 2006
Operation Fun was awesome la. (= That's all I can say to describe it because it's the only word I can think of and I don't feel like going into detail you know. Heh heh. Just waiting for Liying for the pics (= HEE. LIYINGG!!
The girls came over to my place after that since got match ma over at TSH so yeaps it was Nat Girlfriend Joreen and Ouch. Makan-ed, showered, napped, disturbed my fishies, whatever you can think of, all have la har. Haha.
They played so well that I just wanted to go hug every single one of them after the match la but I was too clean so I didn't, considering the game was so damn fast and they were too sweaty.
The girl, or rather, the woman I look up to and trust the most in the world asked me out to chat about me one day and thinking about it and thinking about what to say to her, I feel like I'm damn messed up la. Maybe it's just me la harr but I'm looking forward to it, definitely. (=
Am just afraid because everything she says hits the spot, bull's eye, agree? Amazing how humans hate the truth. We'd all rather be in this world that is filled with lies than to actually face the truth. Well, I can't say that about everyone right because it ain't fair but I'm not afraid to say that, I belong to that group of people la harr. But I guess it's time that I faced the truth. No more hiding and feeling upset about things that I'm not supposed to be upset about and make sucha fuss bout it. Sighs.
And then, there's Melbourne. GEE.
The day went well I must say but I just had to spoil it with stupid thoughts. I'm damn tired. I shall end off here, take a shower and try to get some sleep.
Alright, take care people! (=
i feel so silly,
for...all that has happened.
i don't know where i stand in ur heart.
and im unsure about where u stand too.
this is so crazy.
someone should just slaughter me,
like now.
11:01 PM
caught
Friday, March 03, 2006
update@3:14pm
It's last day of school. This is so crazy but, what the hell am I going to do for 6 weeks la. I don't want to work but well I would have to if I want to survive these 6 weeks! SIGHS!
Then after 6 weeks would be new campus, new faces, new class, new classmates. =( SAD LA!
I don't want to leave Tanglin. Too many memories. Far too many. FOP was here and I hold that closest to my heart. SIGHS LA I TELL YOU!
My staircases! MY EVERYTHING! Must go find comfortable spots in Woodlands already LOL! =X
Currently waiting for Sonia's call then I'll make my way down to town to meet her. Yawns. Class ended like at 2 today. There was no presentation. Just the 6p by Friso. HEEEE! =D Best nyerr. (= Glad I came la har today's lesson not bad. Work-able. LOL.
Maybe I should head downstairs now. Tamp to Town not very far also hor?
Alright, leaving leaving. TATA.
_____
The craziest trip around Singapore today la -.-
This happens when you oversleep and don't want to go to school and want to hide it from your parents and making them think you went to school HAHA.
So here goes:
Tampines
- Home Sweet Home (riiighhht.)
Toa Payoh
- Initial meeting point but was changed after.
- Slacked at Library.
Yishun
- Met Dian.
Paya Lebar
- Headed there to pass her classmate some BBQ stuff.
Redhill
- Both of us then headed down to sch.
Her, for rehersal.
Me, for class party and briefing.
Town
- Accompanied by Jar & Ouch.
- Pastamania for us (=
- Walked around, Cine, Heeren, FAR EAST.
Tampines
- Movie-ed with Sonia (=
- Underworld Evolution 9:25pm show.
- Home Sweet Home.
GREAT MOVIE! But don't watch this kinda gruesome movie with her la. You'll have bruises at the end of the day with her fingernails dug into your skin at every eeky scene HURR.
And I'll exchange one day with you Joey since I got Sonia today. HEE. You can have her on Saturday. LOL!
Joreen, jealous ma? And yes, I had her to myself in that dark dark place. ;) HEEE.
HAHAHA to U!
It's amazing how I can smile,
at the very thought of you.
Yet sometimes I get so depressed,
at the very thought of you as well.
You know,
you're the only one who can make me the happiest
and the saddest girl ever?
You bring me up so high,
just to throw me down a bottomless pit.
Now that I'm confused, I only have myself to blame. SIGHS. I don't know what the hell I'm doing la but thank God the hols are coming. Shall take this time to THINK.
That's all I have to say. Spent the day out with so many people at different times (= LOVE IT!
baby,
you ain't no substitute.
1:09 AM
caught
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Alright so I missed Sentosa today =(
And I'm not feeling any better laaa. Might just skip class tomorrow as well. Sighs, sleepy. Means this week I only went for 1 lesson so far HURR but it's like the last week la so everyone's attendance is going to look pretty much the same. Some kind of trend in RP so yahhh.
Just went to school yesterday for 1 freakin' hour for beta testing and woohooo I got my 4 DA. That leaves me with active points left to collect now! HEE! Need not be diploma related. HEH.
Dinner was alright too. Full of yummylicious fooood.
And now I'm just here doing nothing, the whole day. I should really start working on my PP again but I'm lazy. Tomorrow k. HUR. =(
I WISH I WAS AT SENTOSA NOW LA FUCK COS IM BORED. =( But this thing is killing me, so bad =( And now a headache just wanna come out of nowhere. =(
It's 8 freakin' months.
and i feel bitter. sour. sweet. spicy.
HAHA. hais.
i miss girlfriend.
and i miss school.
i miss everything.
and i miss you.
2:08 PM
caught