// my public blog

2006-08-06T16:39:00.000+08:00

New blog.
K, so i've decided to make it public
and I changed the blog address and all.

Take care all (:

2006-07-31T22:56:00.000+08:00

I know I said I won't blog here nemore but I just need to say one thing since the other blog is restricted.

Can whatever happened in DXO just be kept there??
PLEASE?~ Omgawd.
I'm already forgetting it!
Thanks!

2006-07-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

Won't be blogging here anymore.
And if I like you, I'll tell u where I'm heading to.
Just try asking me on msn.
And keep it to yourself if I do tell you...

One last long entry before I leave this place permanently.
FYP wasn't as bad as I thought although we were 2 members down, which makes that half a team. Supervisor was of great help and I'm thankful I have my pillar of support next to me.
Was almost brought to tears today in class just thinking of this fucking fyp. Thank God I didn't because there was so many people around. The tears were just struggling to come out but I held it back, pretty well..i think. =X
Can't wait for this whole thing to end man, seriously. Then I'm free.
Holidays, please come quick, I'm missing you!!

My attitude is based on how I'm treated by the other party.
Though you can't see it but hey, if you want to be treated that way...Let it be... I can do it too.
Whatever. I'm tired of this shit. Been tolerating it for so fucking long.

That's my closing speech...I shall take my leave now.

Remember this,
"Do unto others what you want others to do unto you."

Good night loves (:

2006-07-18T15:38:00.000+08:00

I'm tired too so is everyone else.
FYP is fucking due next week and we're not there yet. FUCK.
Tried to download Linux like Eddy told us to do but can't find lar. Have to pay. -.-
Then today supposed to do but half the team not going to turn up so how sia.

Where's the sense of urgency?
Isn't the project like due next week? What the hell...
Went for module selection briefing and what the hell, if we fail this freaking project, which I reckon we might just fail, we'd have to stay back one fucking semester and it's going freaking nowhere and i'm fucking irritated with everything!

ARGHHHHS! Breathe in and out Nic.
Patience.

ONE WEEK LEFT HOW TO RELAX!

Wah lau everything sucks and I hate it.

CIABAIII!

2006-07-17T14:10:00.000+08:00

It's the start of something new.
It feels so right, to be here with you (:

Alright I'm in school right now.
Surviving the start of a new week.
Think last week passed pretty fast. Yay.

Stayed at home the whole of Saturday and I'm so proud of myself because by staying at home means save money.
But no, I spent it all away yesterday when I went to Parkway with Cheng Yan!! Initially just supposed to go get my pendant from Perlini's because Fish got me a 20bucks voucher for my bday (: HEE. I got it! My 'N' pendant. It was 16bucks ma so yeah spent another 1buck to get a pair of earrings which is 5bucks. Yay am happy! (: Then walked walked walked around with her. Then stopped at Isetan because she looking for sports bra la har and I reckoned Istean has so we went to look! And really have! And guess what...We both bought bright pink ones lar -.- Omgosh. =X HAHA. K lar, spent money there. SIANN. But it's okiee. Then we both headed home because the people at home, our families, were waiting for us to have dinner so yeahh. WHhhHheeEeee. (: That's my weekends for you.

So this week, it's FYP everyday. Have to get the flowtool going now that we got netflow working. Well done. Hope we can get it done then at least we're almost there you know. Can't wait for this entire thing to end to take a break before the next disaster comes. Sheesh.

Supposed to go train with the juniors today but due to unforseen circumstances, I can't. So I guess after FYP will just accompany them down...since...yea it's in Tampines. Hoho.

My eyelids are heavy. So so heavy.

I can't wait...
For the next training.
For the next holidays.
For my next job interview.
For my next pay.
(which is basically almost nothing because I hardly worked)
For the next clubbing moment.
For my next happy moment.
For the truth to finally be heard from you.

HAHA.

Alright...class is going to starttt.

TATA!

2006-07-16T04:00:00.000+08:00

Thankiew Dinee sayang for telling me how to do this. HEEE (:

Right, its 3:15am and I can't sleep.
Just finished watching High School Musical! All 10 parts on YouTube. HEE. Thought it was stupid at first lar but it's good! Thanks Brenda for asking me to watch when I was so darn bored. HEE (:

I want to read minds. I hate being confused ar. Tsk.
Just go with the flow Nicky.

And and and andd... I DONT LOOK CROOK MEH? Hahahahahahaha. It's the funniest thing ever please! Haven't really told anyone the story yet but if you want to know, ask me! =X

I have to wake up early tomorrow tau...for church. And I want to go rent DVDs please! To watch later on when I'm so bored at home. I love my weekends. To save money, I've been staying home! HEEEE (: And I'm not complaining. Just that I get bored, easily. HUR. Means I'll just update my blog more lorr. Hehs.

I want to get braces leh. The space between my teeth all like damn far apart lar and I look fucking disgusting!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I'm hungry and aiyo it's already 3:51pm. I took so long to blog. Haha. Chatting la ehhh. Can't really multi task well. Have to do one thing at a time.

I've decided.
Made up my mind.
I will not bother nemore about unnecessary things.
I'll just do what I have to do and let nature take its course and bring me towards that direction. YAY!

Only when the time is right...We'll both know (:

And I think i better go now lar ehh.

GOOD NIGHT! =D

It feels so right
To be here with you

2006-07-15T17:18:00.000+08:00

Alright so it has been awhile since I last updated.

Am pretty happy that me and Dian managed to get the router working yesterday for FTP! =D Means we're moving on. Yeah. (:
Let's recap what I did the past few days k.

Thursday
Had court training, finally! It was good wit the juniors. We were all assigned to 2 juniors and ya I combined with Sher to teach them together. Fun eh? HEE (:
Then rushed off when training ended to go home to have dinner and bathe and get ready for Femme Quest. HEE. Yeaps.

Friday
With only 1 and a half hour of sleep, I went to school. HUR. Yes I did and I survived well. HEE. Proud of me? School was good. FYP after sch and yeap. After that headed for movie with Girlfriend and Ghui. (: Pirates of the Carribean. Ghui had extra tix so yeah. The movie was alright la harr. Fell aslp some parts and the blardie cinema just want to be how cold when I don't bring a jacket lar! After movie headed back..Ha guess what, I took a train back all the way to Woodlands! Accompanied Girlfriend back. And eh I still can't believe I did that la. Imagine after school take train from Woodlands to Suntec to meet them then now from Suntec back to Woodlands again..Just can't get enough of Woodlands eh? HAHA. Nvrmind lar. And please keep in mind that I only had 1 1/2 hour of sleep ar. So in the 168 bus, I was snoozing all the way back to Tampines. HEE. Shiok ar.

And today,
I'm home all day long and I feel good because I had the best sleep and woke up only at 1230pm! HAHA. I think I'm going back to sleep again.
I think it might just be the same routine tomorrow. SO TIRED LUR.
And next week is FYP like everyday. We have no choice. Scared lar. 28th July. Knn so fast. Sighs. Can can.

Right after that outing a few months back I'm so glad things were back to normal again. Words can't express how I'd be if you were out of my life forever. (:
Thankful that I've got you sweetheart! (: And you're staying with me, for life. (:

Alright, I want to go see what's for dinner. A bit hungry ar =X

Good day people (:

you can count on me for life

2006-07-12T21:27:00.000+08:00

..and suddenly everything feels right. (:
i m u!

i'll love all the hurt away

2006-07-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

Alright here's an update for the past 2 days.

9th July.
Had lunchie with parents after church, yes I finally attended mass after how long =X And then we headed to the CCK cemetery to visit my grandpa. His death anni happens to be the same date as my birthday. Just that he left this world in 1978 and I came a few years later (lazy to calculate!). Then Dad send my Aunty home and dropped me off at Braddell MRT! And yeap headed to City Hall to meet Miss Ghui! The girl gave me a treat over at Seoul Garden! THANKIEW SO MUCH!! (: Just want to be how loving lar just 2 of us feasting. Unbelievable if you saw our table. It looked like 10 people was sitting there because of the amount of food we took! TSKK! But we enjoyd! =D Thankiew thankiew GHUI!

Then Fish came after that and we went to walk walk walk.

Had my countdown and headed to this restaurant bar at Pasir Ris with LEE JUN MAY! And heee had a cake. Strawberry Cheesecake wit my Heineken and ordered calamari! =D I had people at the next table who joind in the 'Happy Birthday' song as well. (: (: (: AND TADA I'm 20!! Hee thankiew LEE JUN MAY!

10th July.
School. Sheeeshh. Plenty wishes..THANKS EVERYONEEEE!! (: Left after 2nd meeting. Apparently we were supposed to visit a friend who was in critical condition at the hospital but nah, our friend became better and we decided to head to Wheelock's Fish & Co for lunch! (:
Had the lunch treat for 2 and an order of Fried Calamari! (: The caesar salad with smoked salmon is soooooooooo damn good please!!! YUMS! Then we headed home because she wasn't feeling good so yeah. Fell asleep in the train ride to Yishun and as well as on the bus ride home. zZzZzz. Nap as soon as I got home till dinner time where my Mum cooked a lot a lot of fooddd. HEEE (: And I had 2 cakes, Brownie Cake and Cookies & Cream ice cream cakeee YUMS PLSS!! Then I just decided to head to bed like damn early.

What a fulfilling 20th!
THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO MADE IT HAPPEN! =D

11th July TODAY.
School as usual. UT, hur. Sucks lur. And the classmates surprised me, Anitha and Zul today with a pretty cake and it's really damn pretty and yummy too! (: Thanks so so much, really unexpecteddd. (: Thanks thanks thanks peoplee!

And I got my cactus from Siti Hajar! (: THANKIEW DARLINGGG!!

And headed to help Ghui taste her isotonic thingy. HUR. And headed for yummy food at Causeway Point then headed home.

I have a lot of things to say so please bear with me okay.

Feeling funny suddenly as I look through photos. Funny how we did not look as happy before and we look so much happier. I feel free around you now and I do not feel restricted anymore. Maybe the confidence of the relationship you had in mind for us is finally coming true, or should I say the level that our friendship is going to reach. Don't know what the future holds but I guess things are going to be so much better now. Agree with me? The time that I need from you to adjust to this totally different feeling will take awhile but you've been giving me so much time already that I guess I'll speed things up. Thanks.

And to another you. All these while, I did not mean anything to you, did I? I don't know what went wrong but I'm disappointed. So disappointed. Maybe we're better off this way. You're better off without me and it already shows, doesn't it? And I guess, I'd be better off without you too. I'm sorry that things has to come to this way. What we had was all a lie and it pains me so to say this..but goodbye. It may sound as if I'm blowing things out of proportion but I've had enough and the ignorance just gets to me. Don't talk me out of it because I've made up my mind. Thanks for the memories. I feel utterly bitter but I treasured this so much and it meant so much to me, this thing between you and me, but if it ain't gonna work out, what's the point... Sighs.

And I miss Girlfriend. Gives me a comforting feeling whenever I see her because of everything that's bugging me now. Just want to go up and hug her everytime I see her. You know lar just that feeling in your heart when you see someone and how your heart relaxes and everything just feels right suddenly. HAHA. Miss you baby! (:

K I have driving tomorrow morning and FYP after that. So I've talked too much and I think I'd better go! I miss training! And I can't wait for court training because we're gonna train with the juniors (: Miss them a lot!

Alright, stop stop stop. I'm leaving. Good night people. *HUGS.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand

And you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

2006-07-08T02:42:00.000+08:00

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

I'm getting pretty excited about 13th July. Thanks to Cheryl who tempted me to go and now I'm really going lar!! Thought of what I'm going to say my Mum already. I HOPE IT WORKS!! Tsk ar Nic.

Anyways, FINALLY decided to head down to town today after I was done with part of the report and after ChengYan made me go down. Waited in school, got part of my report done and just hung around with Mw and Joey till bout 530pm and then headed to the mrt station to train down to town.
Met Jess Yan Jas and Deb. (:
We just filled the entire place with laughter. I laugh until I giddy lar SERIOUSLY! That Deb larrr my goodness freaking nonsense leh! BUT I ENJOYED MYSELF A LOT A LOT! Need it so badly and I got it! (: THANKIEW PEOPLE!
Had nice little talks with them as well that taught me a lot a lot.
And really you all mean so so so so so so much to me ok. (:

I'm going to be thick skin lar but I'm going to turn 20 on Monday leh!!! YOU ALL KNOW ANOT!!!!! I want to skip class and go out BUT I can't lurr! Skipped like twice already and I don't want to jeopardise my grades anymore so THINK TWICE NICKY! *thinking*

I want to start thinking emo.
It's crazy how we'll only realise the importance of someone so dear to us when he/she completely walks out of our life. Like we take for advantage that he/she will always be there and therefore we treat he/she the way we do, of course I mean the bad way lur. Oh well I shall not say anything much.
But I've learnt my lesson and all I can say is, TREASURE. Treasure what you have Nicky. And I will, try.

EYELIDS HEAVY! It's 2:36am. Time to go to sleep because there's a friendly at NTU, which is at the other end of Singapore, later in the day and it's off to work for me! SIGHS! =(

GOOD DAY PEOPLE AND ROCK THE WEEKENDS (:

Love, Nicky.

we'll carry on like nothing's wrong.

2006-07-07T13:09:00.000+08:00

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what

My new song addiction, Aslyn's That's When I Love You. The lyrics damn sweet lur cannot take it and the song is nice as well. (:
Thankiew Sherilyn Ghui for publicising it on your blog and making me realise such a pretty song exists HEEE. (:

Bad headache last night due to the 3 shots, Heineken and endless supply of nicotine over at Bisous Bar with my 3 girls, Joreen Meiwei and Joey. And that caused me being unable to sleep and hence resulted in me having difficulties to wake up this morning. Supposed to wake up at 6am to pack my bag, and just take my time to get ready but I woke up 1/2 an hour late and had to do everything in 15 mins flat if I wanted to take my time and walk to the bus stop SLOWLY. Packed my bag as soon as I woke up. HUR. Couldn't even walk straight but still went to school anyways and I look TERRIBLE! But I survived. Ppt's done and everything else. Well done team.
Classmate's not here today. Not well I reckon. Headache on her side as well. Take care girl, and rest well. YOUR ABSENCE IS FELT! =(

Couple of UTs next week. Sheesh. I thought it was all over but UT3 has to come so fast and makes me realise that Year 3 Sem 1 is coming to an end, pretty fast.

Okie, I think this entry is starting to bore me so reckon it'd bore my loyal readers as well =X
So I shall stop right here. HEE. (:

Take care people!

3 more days. (:

2006-07-05T23:22:00.000+08:00

Ish, the excitement to that particular event in 5 days time is slowly dying.
Actually, it's dying fast.
I'm only going to turn 20 =( How depressing.
I have FYP, training and everything else to think about so why be so excited for right? BLURGH. So much for wanting it to be happening. Eeeeee now I'm wallowing in self-pity. HAHA.

I miss Sonia Chia.
This woman has gone missing since chalet day and I haven't seen much of her since then..Actually I haven't seen her at all!!! And finally realised today after exchanging sms-es that she's busy with work. Felt as if she just disappeared from the face of the earth but oh well...........
WOMAN, I MISS YOU LAR!! =(

Did you hear? 28th July 2006. We have to submit our FYP. Like what the **** alright. And am I correct to say we're hardly done? Sheesh. Have faith Nicky. You're not alone. Can you all feel the sense of urgency yet? CANN???

Alright. I should go do something more useful than this. Sighs.

Good night world.

2006-07-05T15:52:00.000+08:00

FYP today. Am in school right now and have been here since 9am.
Sheesh. =(
And we're not even done yet. Files still transferring and there's training later and it's almost 4pm. Think I'll be so damn shagged by the time I'm done. Might not even want to head down because if late then must run lar whether you have a freaking valid reason or not. What the hell kan? BLURGH. I just want to complain complain and complain! CAN?

We have just a few weeks left tauuuuuuu. And I don't know where we're heading to now lar, as in which step we're yet. Are we almost done? Or are we too far back? Questions questions. Sighs...

Okay lar, files still transferring but I'll take my leave. TATA!

2006-07-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

how can a few hours of redundant waiting compare to a year of hopeful waiting...

2006-07-02T00:17:00.000+08:00

1st July has ended.

The day was fine. =)
Had dinner wit the girls.
Yati Aisyah Deb Sher Pang.
Over at Glass house. Love it.

Life goes on.
I'm moving along fine.
And you are too, right from the beginning, one year ago.

Can't help but feel so, sigh-ish.
But hey how could I just let go of something so dear to me at the click of my fingers, right? After all, it has been a year..

Let me wallow for a bit and I'll be fine eventually.

Something I typed a while back that I hesitated to post:
It's so heartbreaking to let go of something that has been so dear to me for the longest time ever but the time has come for me to do so and I'm doing it, willingly. Of course, I had the help of vicious lies and terrible truths and those indeed pushed me on.

It has been a year and the feeling lingers, hangs on a loose string waiting to be cut because it looks so unsightedly.

So what has the past year taught me? A lot. Words simply can't express. I can't deny the fact that it leaves me bitter but hey, these are all part of life's lessons and sadly I had to go through a difficult one. Well at least I chose to go through this, so yeah, my bad if it turned out so sour.

Don't want to see this as wasting a year on her but rather, learning a lesson the hard way that it needed a year, for me. After all I'm a slow learner, right? Ahhh well..

The End.

Here's to my new beginning, cheers. (:

2006-07-01T01:52:00.000+08:00

It has been a year.

Update later.
Damn sleepy.
Good night.

2006-06-28T22:58:00.000+08:00

Driving today rocksss. =D
Haha I felt like I owned the road and I was cruising in my very own car! Oh man, if only I'd be able to feel like that on my test day eh. HOW GOOD WOULD THAT BE! Because I drive best when I'm relaxed. I screw up when I'm kancheong lar. Like the first few minutes of the lesson today. 2 weeks never drive, oh my goodness, instructor had to keep stepping on the brakes for me HAHA =X But all was good! =D

Met my pretty after lesson because she got the same session as meeeeee. WELL DONE BABY! Haha sorry eh, damn high. Apparently both of us were pretty satisfied with our lessons today. WELL DONE WELL DONE! And we headed to Causeway Point for breakfast! HEE. We bumped into classmate in the train and got her to join us! And who eats Sausage McMuffin with mayo? EEKS! =X Sorry lur but it's weird k. She was supposed to walk me to school but no no no she didn't because I had a friend with me so yeah =( POUTS LAR! How can it be the same? OH WELL...

SO FYP..hais. Nothing to say. Another redundant week. Hope tomorrow's meeting with Khee Wei will be fruitful. Sheesh.

AND IM HUNGRY although I just had dinner. And I'm so damn excited for myself because I'm going to get my allowance, VERY SOON! And my pay as well! I can finally repay my debts, or rather, debt, and start booking more driving sessions!!

Okie, I'm going to shower =X And will pack my bag, and head to bed.

Take care people.

2006-06-27T19:22:00.000+08:00

My mind's made up. Now it's up to you to believe me and up to me on how I'm going to assure you and it ain't going to be easy considering the factors around me isn't going to help me very much. Sighs. =(

I'm having a stupid headache and it have been going on and off for days. Oh wait, have I already complained about this on my previous entry? Haha.

Training yesterday was a killer considering I haven't had proper training for 4536798045 years. My goodness but it was fun because I felt good yesterday! =D After training, dead tired, accompanied the Girl to SSDC to book her driving! A lot of stupid things happened. How she went around asking people what '我爱你' (please change your browser encoding to 'UNICODE UTF-8' to view chinese words!) meant in English. OH MAN. Haha. But that's another story and I'll tell it to you if I love you! And to those who heard the story: HEHE. Funny lar! Then we just headed home. All was good (= I like!

Then woke up so frigging early today. Like 530am, 545am around there lar and I couldn't get back to sleep so I thought maybe for once I'd just head to school early! And I did! Classmate had to rush to Yishun MRT for me and I'm happy! Haha we then had a good breakfast at Macs and a good satisfying walk to school then after, din we? =D The day was taking it's toll on me when afternoon came and my energy level almost hit rock bottom but I managed to survive and here I am. Was complaining to Classmate how 'manjer' I am nowadays. I just need all the love and attention but no one is willing to entertain me...Girlfriend please do something about this situation! It'll take awhile for me to get out of this 'phase' that I'm going through so I want to warn all people who are close to me. Haha. Please give me all the love and attention that I seek. I'm tired of being the one entertaining.

Nicky's a good girl today because her fag supply is dead dry and not a single stick attempted to kill her today. Well done. Keep it up Nicky! This is why I always whine, 29th June, COME NOW PLEASE! I'm damn broke LUR.

Alright alright. It's TV time! I'm 18 minutes late for my 7pm chinese show because of this long long entry.

Please tag peopleeeee. I miss all the nice nice tags. =D

HAHA. Love you all plenty!

-Nicky!

2006-06-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

you were there

all these while,
i was just too blind to see.

Friendly today. It was OK considering we haven't touched the stick in like a month or so? Yeaps. =) Kinda enjoyed myself also. HEE.

AND I finally got to know the Year 1s lar. I was like some mad high woman at the bus stop and in the bus today learning their names and just being crazy. They all have funny names but they're a cute bunch! I LIKE! =D We went to Far East to makan. That Nana Thai Restaurant sucks lur. We should have eaten at Cahayaaaa. Blurgh. All 15 of us! Then we walked to Taka to get Duck's stuff. And Heeren-ed after that. Well done. All was exhausted and left town bout 6pm. Yay. It was a good day after all =) Train-ed home with Brenda, Linie and Joreen. HEH. We all fell aslp after chitchatting damn animatedly, all tired lurrr.

That's today.
Let's recap yesterday's events!
Had lunchie over at Zam Zam.
Joey Meiwei Sher Nicky Nad Jas Jar Fish Yati Seri.
Solely seniors =) Bugis-ed and then slacked at Swensens where Pang treat all of us to ICE CREAM!! =D THANK YOU!! Yums lar. We just sat and talk and yeah that's about it la har. Then we just headed down to town to walk walk walk. Met Classmate after that and EH got for Girlfriend her perfume from Body Shop because Classmate's friend was working and yeap! =D Yay, she's happy, so am I. Well done. Then me and Classmate headed down to Bianca's place and heee we were photographers for the event. Actually she did more of the shooting than I did so ya~ Let her lar. Haha. We had fun, didn't we? Hee =) What's with the party bag and all. Haha.

Alright then. I miss school, suddenly. I'm hungry. I've been pigging out so much that it scares me! IM HUNGRY IM HUNGRY! Feed me pls! =(

Off to bed for me!
BYE!

She fills my heart with very special things
With angels' songs, with wild imaginings
She fills my soul with so much love
That anywhere I go, I'm never lonely
With her along, who could be lonely
I reach for her hand, it's always there...

How long does it last?
Can love be measured by the hours in a day?
I have no answers now, but this much I can say
I'm going to need her till the stars all burn away
And she'll be there.

(=

2006-06-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

I've lost all faith and confidence. I hate this =(
I hate thinking too much on long bus rides home.
I need retail therapy.
29th, please come, fast!

I'd love a cactus plant.
A pretty and colourful one.
Then I can take care of it because it's easy to take care of and I won't kill it so fast. =X
I want plants, and more fishes.

And I need sleep, plenty.
It's 9:34pm. I'll go to sleep, NOW.

Goodnight.

2006-06-20T23:45:00.000+08:00

Who am I to think so highly of myself eh?
And just when I thought everything was going the way I wanted it to, it came crashing down on me. What's with me and bad luck? What did I do to deserve all this? Well, maybe not everything is bad but the things or relationships I treasure the most always make a turn into the wrong lane and that sucks, BIG TIME.

Maybe it's just me.

I'm feeling freaking depressed!

2006-06-20T01:29:00.000+08:00

I love doing closing! No no, let me clarify that. I love working till closing because I have all the fun people with me and we'll have so much fun despite the freaking workload =D Hehe. And cabbing back after that with them is so fun too. Where we'll all wait for cabs. FUN LAR. But today will be the last on a weekday, I hope, because I have school the next day!

...It has finally ended.

School sucked like big time lar. But it wasn't all bad la eh (= Tomorrow's another day. Sighs. 9 weeks, let me just breeze through it. )= Pray that everything will be okay because this tension is getting so bad. And, my bad, I'll take responsibility for this shit I'm causing. For being too sensitive.

...And I'm broken.

It's almost 1:30am. And I'm not the least bit sleepy. Growls. I have to wake up at 6am later. AND GUESS WHAT, I managed to wake up today, all by myself, at 6am. HEE (= Well done Nicky. Was pretty excited for school you see. HEEE. I love walking slowly to the bus stop and not like rushing and perspiring in hope of not missing the bus! (= Hope it'll be the same for later and the 9 weeks to come.

...I miss you Girl.

I'm craving for pasta! Shall make the girls eat that with me tomorrow when I have dinner with them =D Alright JTAP and NCY? HEEE =D

But it's okay,

And I just want more laksa, peanut butter toast, fried beehoon, fish ball noodles and nasi lemak please!! HUNGRY. A big hungry pms-er.

I'm starting to get used to you not being here.

And this sucks, losing my temper. I don't know if I should go on Saturday now, to Bianca's party that is. Promised my Aunty to take pictures for her already though. SIGHS. And I've found the perfect excuse for my Mum already to miss it but she keep saying I can go later. BLURGH. How eh like that?

Be happy for me, I'm moving on...

Whatever lurrrrr. And one more thing, I forgot to announce this!!
On 13th June 2006, I sat for my Final Theory test and eh, I PASSED LAR!! =D
Well doneeeeeee =D
Baby's taking hers tomorrow. WHEEEE. If I can pass, anyone can lor.
So yeah, GO GIRL! =D
Basic Theory and Final Theory all passed at first attempt. HEE. Hope the same goes for my TP as well... HEE =D

I'm going off now, not to sleep, just going to find something else to do since I'm running out of things to say. Might go pack my bag and get ready what I'm going to wear all. HOHO.

Good night Loves (=

2006-06-19T01:23:00.000+08:00

Yay it's so late and I'm not in bed yet. Just want to be how crazy lar. Tomorrow's the first day of school after da 2 weeks break and I'm feeling bittersweet about it. I'm so looking forward to it because I'm going to see everyone again but thinking about class, my team and my fac, ARGH. Mad Nicky.

Work today, 3-11. Love it =D Think I'm loving work more and more and it's the money that keeps me going and u know if you work 60 hours or more in a month, you'll get 30bucks voucher and 30bucks in cash! AND THIS MONTH, I clocked 53.5 hours lar. FUCK SIA. Short of what, 6.5 hours. GROWLS! This suckkkks because I could clock 6.5 hours in a day but it's too late because they count pay from 19th June onwards. BLURGH! Means I have to start all over again next month. Dammmiitttt.

I hope EA gives good money for the education awards this year. Really need that wad of cash for my practical lessons. Am so lagging behind. about 10 or more lessons to go before I can book my TP! Growls. Long way more! At least 3 more months. BLURGH.

Alright alright 'nuff said. Got to go pack my bag for school tomorrow and off to bed for me. I'm left with just 5 hours to sleep. Goodness.

(=

Tata.

2006-06-17T23:08:00.000+08:00

(= My Saturday.

2006-06-17T00:47:00.000+08:00

I Still Hate YOU

And what I've assumed about my dream in the last entry was right =)

To dream that you are crying, signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and a way to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In our daily lives, we tend to ignore, deny, or repress our feelings. But in our dream state, our defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of such emotions.

Haha I just wanna cry more in my sleep. It makes me feel so much better although it leaves me with a headache after that!

Work till 12 just now. Growls. Time passed so damn slow! I was so restless I almost cried lar. Raquel was like panicking already~ Haha =X

Okie. I can't wait for later ;)
See you all. TATA!

ps. Goodness, just realised hols is coming to an end =(

2006-06-16T16:28:00.000+08:00

I'm having a very terrible headache because I just sobbed so badly in my sleep till I woke up with my eyes wet and swollen.
I guess dreams are replacement for when you can't do stuff in real life, everything happens when your eyes are closed.
And it felt so good to cry. I just didn't stop. 3 times I cried and all 3 times it was as if someone dear to me left this world. It was that crazy.

=( This sucks because I have work and a headache and pair of swollen eyes won't do me good.

Fuck it lar.

2006-06-16T11:24:00.000+08:00

HA. Knn..ccb...EVERYTHING.
The hate in me is so difficult to comprehend.
Feel like just fucking whack you right there and then.
All this while you've been putting up a fake front! You've been lying and I was blind enough to believe. Well in the first place I was already blind enough to have actually laid eyes on you! And all that I've tried to build up is just going down the drain! I hate you I really do and nothing you say or do will be able to save this fucking friendship! GO TO HELL!

ARGHHHHHHHS! I'm gonna be angered to tears I SWEAR! I've had enough. One freaking whole year is enough to kill me slowly and it has already come to a dead end, the ultimate.
THANK YOU FOR NOTHING!

My friends were right...
I'm stupid. Fullstop.

Bye.

2006-06-14T00:32:00.000+08:00

So I'm home, yeah I made it! Haha.

My whole room smells of cherry cigarettes and I'm so dead if my Mum or Dad knows about this new kinda cigs and start rummaging through my bag. GAWD, the smell just want to be how strong lar even though it's in my BAG! HUR. No more, last pack. Ha. =X

Was out with Cheryl and her gang after FYP today. Glad to meet up with her after how long and I never fail to enjoy chatting away with her. Could not do that in front of her friends though, just felt funny but when they all left for the Ladies, found myself talking to her and I like it =) Pardon me, but I'm shy you know. Haha. Let's go out for coffee one day, k?

First time trying Mango Frappe today and it was GOOD! Love it! Have a thing for fruity stuffs nowadays. Heee =)

Funny how my friends has been telling me the same thing over and over again and today all it took was one person to enlighten me and I've made up my mind. Thanks.

=)

Ahh! I forgot to talk about one more thing!
I was a nervous panting arse over at PP presentation today lar my gawd.
Why was I panting? Because I WAS LATE!
There are no freaking cabs at Woodlands k! What the hell. And I woke up late also. Kept thinking my presentation was at 1030am instead of 10am. So I allowed myself to continue sleeping. HUR. Was supposed to leave the house at 830am, only left at 9am lar. Kukunehneh.
Why was I nervous because I did not compose myself properly, I just wanted to start and get it over and done with!
The fac also wah lau eh..Gave me the impression that I was going to fail when she said, "NEXT TIME make sure your presentation is longer and you elaborate on your points more." HUR!!!

BUT GUESS WHAT!
I got the email =) =) =)
AND I PASSED! =) =) =)

Well done Nicky.

Dah lar, I wanna go slp.
Good night people.

2006-06-13T00:21:00.000+08:00

i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you.

stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying. stop lying.

aren't you tired..?

blurgh.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how I try,
I can't hate you anymore.
...I can't hate you anymore.

2006-06-11T21:15:00.000+08:00

Nick Lachey's Resolution

Nothing but an empty page
Breathing in an open space
Captured by a moment's grace again
There is so much I left behind
Even more that waits in time
Everything so undefined
Standing on the edge of my fear
And I see it clear

Here's my resolution
I'm letting go
All I need to learn is along this road
And I just want to be the best man I can be
Breathe
It's my resolution

Living life without a plan
Finding solace where I stand
Learning how to love again
All I want is something real
That I can feel

Note: All his songs damn emo lar, cannot take it!

2006-06-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

Things are getting stupid.
More relationships turning sour, because of me.

I feel bitter and
I WANT OUT!

Don't understand why our ideas keep clashing. Don't understand why I'm even bothered by this! I told you I don't care anymore and I'm dead serious. Stop asking me to think think think! I WON'T!

Something just came to mind:
I detest the word, "Sorry". It's being misused, all the time!
It's a strong word. You don't say you're sorry for no reason! Not pinpointing at anybody here but what's the point of saying sorry. Don't do it in the first place lar if you intend to say you're sorry in the end.
Whatever la if you think I sound contradicting! Geram.

Dah lar, enough of blabbing.

BYE!

2006-06-07T17:25:00.000+08:00

Girl,
I'm sorry.
For my attitude.
For the way I've been treating you.
For the additional shit I make you go through.

Somehow everyone seem better off without me.
Then what the hell am I still doing here?

Fuck all this shit, I'm tired =(

Depressed, tired, everything.

Leave me alone.

2006-06-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

All the best to RP Adroits. You guys are going to FUCKING start from scratch! Whatever we've built up has gone down the drain! But I guess since he has faith that the year 1s and the remainders are going to bring them victory in IVP, then let it be. I'll just wait and see. Well they got 6 months don't they? WE TOOK FUCKING DAMN 2 YEARS TO GET FREAKING 6TH POSITION! Get the picture anot? TAKE ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD MR ANG BUT LEAVE MY GOOD LUCK ALONE, I STILL WANT IT! NO WELL WISHES FROM ME!

In the meantime, I have more important things to attend to. WELL I'm in Year 3 and I'm SO SORRY if no one understands this fucking project we're going through. EH, just realised only Year 3s has it ar. Year 1s and Year 2s are damn free lar liddat. OH so why am I not surprised that they don't freaking understand? Oh ya, even facilitators and advisors and staff of RP don't have to go through this right? Do you guys freaking know what the hell is FYP? Okay, now I'm going to be shot at for not being able to MANAGE MY TIME WELL. But eh c'mon lar my project requires butts to freaking sit in the lab from fucking morning to 5plus lar just to monitor traffic from one PC to another! Oh you don't understand that too? THEN FORGET IT! I'm not a science student who just does research in the freaking library any other day and submit reports you know! HOW I WISH SEH! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ANYTHING ANYMORE!

Enough la. Even if I didn't get kicked out, I'd have quit when this happened! BUT HEY GUESS WHAT I GOT KICKED OUT!

So now I have more time and breathing space to concentrate on other things! WELL DONE!

FUCK ALL THIS SHIT!

And to whoever's reading this and hates it, just get the fuck out of here! I don't need you at my blog anyways!

2006-06-05T18:01:00.000+08:00

edit@10:03pm

Damn, I actually fell aslp at 6:58pm okay. Bad, kept tossing and turning, weird dreams and my head was pounding so bad. Fcuk sia. And I was perspiring when I woke up though the fan was like in front of my face. Think really am going to fall sick. Ain't helping that my nose is dripping either. Now I can't freaking sleep back and I have to be up like how early!

The word:
Hate.
So strong. But oh well.

I'm talking in circles, I don't understand myself either.
_____

Have to be up by 0730 hours tomorrow for 2nd day of filming. My gawd. One day is enough to kill. Tired. Exhausted, whatever la eh. Lucky shooting locations all nearby if not. Omgawd.

And,
things won't be the same anymore.
It just feels weird lar.

Bye.

2006-06-02T19:48:00.000+08:00

Headed to school today for FYP, then waited for Jar to end class and we headed down to town to chill! So much for flying off to another country eh woman! =X Heeees. Had some lunch time special thingy at Fish & Co which is super duper whooper worth it lar! =)
PICS UP!

Then after that we just walked and walked to find my blanket lar! THE GUY BLUFF US K! Town don't have! We search until we both restless like hell! Then headed to one of the cafe places at Cine to slack! (=

Dah lar, tired nie.
AND MY BLANKIE IS THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!
Those who come here, will get to see it! HEE! =) Happy happy! =)

BYE PEOPLE! (=

2006-05-31T23:56:00.000+08:00

Miss me? Haha.

AND AYE IT'S RAINING!! =D Shiok. Night time rain is the best everrrr!

Well been ages aye but hee I'm back. Tired but still alive and kickin'! Wheeeeeeee.
=)

And signs of me falling sick is showing like crazy. Running nose, headache, blocked ears. EVERYTHING. Can't I just stay well for awhile! JUST AWHILE?! My immune system, MY GAWD. Arghs.

ANYWAYS! Guess what! Saturday was out with ChengYan around noon time (YES I CANCELLED WORK =X) then we were at Cine and Carrie Chong was there dressed up like a guy lar and was giving a pair preview tix to 'She's the Man', 29th May, to whoever came with the password and WHEEEE both of us got 1 pair each! ChengYan brought Jas while I asked Sonia to accompany me HAHA. Then after that met Girlfriend (= (= Chengyan left for her Aunt's place. Wheee. Went to pierce ear, makan dinner and headed down to Esplanade to just 'hang out'. Kays. The band playing there was GOOD. We were there for almost what, 3-4 hours? They were playing all the nice songs lar..And the person singing was good too (= Great company great music, everything. Well done. Must go there every weekend eh check out the performance they have. Hee. (= Thankiew Yanyan and Girlfriend for being there for meeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Sunday ar...Supposed to go church but ermmms u know la eh! =X Met Sonia at Causeway Point in the aftnn. CALL ME CRAZY but hey, go jer lar. With her Mother Brother Sister Bro-in-law and nieces. OH GOSH. Walked walked walked. Her niece just want to be how cute lar!! Then we left for movieeee. Yeaps. The Da Vinci Code. Nothing great. Read the book. HAA =X

The whole entire week I lied I had no school lar! Naughty kan!?

Monday. Hoho. NP for me to meet ChengYan. Lunched and studied with her..Did my stupid numbers subject. EEKS. Then headed down to town bout 5. Hehs. SHE'S THE MAN IS GOOD LAR PLS! Go watch go watch! Need to emphasise man. DONT WATCH MEANS URE CRAZY LAR! Heh! (=

Tuesday. Slept in till damn late...Then went down for driving. 2 slots. Drive until happy ar. Damn tired. 2:40pm and 4:40pm slot. Oh gosh I'm done with stage 1 finally!!!! =) Then Dad picked me up and headed to worrrkkk. TIRED!

Wednesday. Slept in like hell again. Laze around like crazy and just slept somemore till 5pm decided to get my butt up to go shower, makan and headed down for training which was apparently damn good (= Well done girls. Haha. I love it lar. Intensity was great, coach was happy and we were happy too. Everyone super on form. I just wanted to keep running. HEE. Love it love it. (= Then dinner-ed with the Deb Sher Sonia Aishah Joey Meiwei and Yanzi at Mac-kers aft that. Just shared something with the one sitting opposite me. And now I'm eating again, at 11:31pm! Goodness.

TIRED, so tired. No school tomorrow, for me that is =D Heading for driving at 10:30am! So fun then I must go get my PP poster done. Prolly go for my FYP meeting and training...Then I'd just head back home. Friday would just be driving and home sweet home..

SATURDAY! Pls go with us! We're gonna go club! Response so far so good. All must go k! =) Well done. I love it.

It's so true when I say 'when one situation picks up, the other falls'. I can never get the best of both worlds can I? Sad you know =( But I love floorball... But the other one is dear to me as well. OH WELL, I'll just go with the flow.

I've jeopardized my grades like crazy this week. No more man. Pls stop me whenever I want to skip k! Must work hard already. HAIS!

I want to go off and sleep.........I've been sleeping so so much. Guess I gave myself an extra week of hols to slp eh =X What the hell. K lar so late already.... See u all, soon (=

Remember us,
and all we used to be.

2006-05-20T12:32:00.000+08:00

Out.

i'm tired.

will be retiring from here.
for awhile.

will be back, eventually, one fine day or whatever words you all wanna use la eh. tata.

find me over at the other side.
to whoever who may know where that is.

2006-05-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

And I'm thankful you're still here,
thankful indeed.

Trust, gee. Fuck it. Don't want to say much.

All I was to you was someone you called when you're bored, and I don't exist anymore now that you have her, and you fucking want to give me attitude too?

Why should I care about anyone else when I know that I have people who will be there, no matter what. Eesh.

Am so full of resentment now.
I just want to sleep everything away because I'm so so so so tired. =(
Mentally drained,
physically worn-out.

Good night.

the resentment lingers;
level of trust hits rock bottom

2006-05-17T22:46:00.000+08:00

Continue continue!
And I'm depressed with a capital 'D'. Doesn't help that training had to go that way, found myself with a D for my first UT for IT Security and 3 of my new fishes died k =( Yati said prolly the temperature of the water. Sighs, its near the window lar so next time must draw the curtains when I go out. So how can I not feel depressed you tell me? SIGHS!!
_____

Some pics of what happened today (=

Me staring at the pretty flowers (=

Me and Jar in the fitting room HOHO! =X

Jill's flowers. (= Wrapped so nicely! AND SO PRETTY LAR!!

Us with the thing that takes our breath away!

The resentment still stays and the level of trust has hit rock bottom.
I don't know what to say neither do I know what to do anymore. Wished all these never happened. I hate being so fake knowing that I hate this so much yet I act as if nothing happened. Doesn't my actions show well enough what the hell I'm feeling? Body language in other words. Sorry, but I don't like this at all, not one bit. That made me leave early today and I still am hating it, SO SO MUCH! I did not want to stay on if not I'd have just flared up. Wonder why I'm taking it so badly lar. Sighs.

I'm tired lar. Woke up so early today for driving then headed down to Suntec for a damn redundant wait. I'm not happy lar then headed home along with Yati and Jar over with me to take my stuff for training. (=

The whole troop had the same practical session timing today as me lar. Emily, Rafidah, Liying and me. All my SSDC kakis. Haha. My eye caught Liying's name on the screen then realised maybe the rest are here so yeah I actually waited and saw all 3 names. HAHA. I had company! Drove passed Em so many times even out on the road lar!! FUN! I love driving kays!! Wheeeee. But manual leceh like hell. Don't like ar... Oh well, slowly, practice makes perfect. Hoho...And hees I got back the same instructor again (= HAPPY. Thank you Lord (= HEE. I'm loving it so much lalalala!

Alright, am going to head to bed now. Damn tired. Good night.

2006-05-16T13:40:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wish you could just tell me whatever's on your mind. This guessing game, k, it's my fault for wanting to interfere but don't you think by just telling me all would be so much better? I won't be paranoid and the world will be a better place. Sighs. And I don't know why the hell I'm still feeling this way when I'm not supposed to. Breathe in and out 5 times Nicky. Turn around and smile. Everything will be okay, I'm sure. Sighs.

Just a thought:
Aren't good friends supposed to respect one another's decision regardless of what they choose and where their happiness really lies? No?

Well just a thought people please do not think too deep into it.

Signing out lar. Tata.

2006-05-12T03:44:00.000+08:00

Ahhh. Guess whatt..Instead of ending work at 12 as schdeuled, I extended to 2am today! OH WOW! and 2 hours is double pay because after midnight!!! (= 20 bucks baby! And another 50 bucks tomorrow. *prances around* But it was so damn fucking tiring the last 2 hours because I was alone doing server. Goodness. The crowd just kept coming in! I had to clear tables after tables and had to leave some alone because I had to keep sending food also. MAN! Tired and my feet hurt so bad but its okay! Haha. All for the money. Yeaps.

And the taxi system over at the airport for people who end work late is so funny lar. Like all the taxi uncles with walkie talkies saying where people stay and arranging us in cabs. Kay it doesn't sound funny here but eh, the scene was just hilarious lar. And the taxi Uncle is a scary driver I swear. He went all the way up to 160km/h k. What the fuck. I know road empty lar but I don't want to die young tau!

Some big surprise visit by Miss Chia today to RP. Called me in the middle of lesson to ask me go makan. Aper nieee. Found her, found her eh, what a word to use. K found her after UT and yay she and Joreen took 858 with me (= And accompanied me all the way till I started work. Wheeee.

That's it, there's no school later at 8:30am! Instead there's work at 6pm! Hoho. Double pay, double pay!

And man, it's 3:34am! My Mum's going to wake up 1 hour later for work and I reckon I might just head to bed soon after I'm done with this entry. Will just get RJ done tomorrow before I head to work since it closes at 11:59pm on 12th May. HOHO.

Dah la, that's all I have to say.

But before I go, was looking through the mess on my desktop and found this expired entry that I never did post because that was something wrong with blogger! Here it is.

Good night my loves! (=

9th May 2006

Hoho, I've never sat at this location near my place before. It's the area near the 'design and build' flats where there are nice little huts looking thingy where you can just sit around, reflect or have a chat if you're with someone.

The music is just blasting from my laptop as I sit here with the nice breeze blowing at my face. Hoho.

And Seri, it's nice sitting here alone and munching on my chocolate! HEE! =D

Ended work SUPER early today because the place was like ghost town and my supervisor wanted to cut cost and asked me to leave early. Growls. Nevermind la eh at least I can get my work done quick, go home and sleep!

I'm finally done with the 3 weekly logs and polished up the project specifications. Done with RJ too. Question today is, 'Everyone is special. Why are you special?' APER NIEE!! But hee, I came up with a rather stupid answer la ehhh. Acceptable I hope. Silly but acceptable la I suppose. Stupidnyer...

Classmate was down with a bad case of food poisoning for awhile. Think you're feeling better eh? (= Take care ar although I see you like 5 times a week.. Don't know why I must blog about it all but just feel like it. Hoho! Be honoured k to have me speaking about you on my blog. Limited tau the people I talk about here. HOHO!

Driving at 8:35am tomorrow, faints. Then meeting Cher for awhile and heading off to school for FYP and SLA Fiesta thingy. FLOORBALL!! WOOHOOOO! Haha. Went around the year 1 classes today lar. Madness. But nevermind la eh, fun! Never done it before. Then got training after that. FULL DAY AHEAD. Same goes for Thursday, except that training will be replaced by work and driving will be replaced by school. Hoho.

K lar, I should head home now. Wait my Mother wonder why I take an hour and a half to reach home when the place is like 15 minutes away from home =X

GOOD DAY PEOPLE!

2006-05-11T00:05:00.000+08:00

..and so it was nice,
just us seniors at one table at mac.
with our new addition and MVP nominee, miss ng meiwei.
and our missing members liz aishah and jas. hoho. who was at the other table. u guys were not forgotten. dont love us anymore ar? =( sit so far.

miss that so much. more pls!
laughing, just talking crap, bitching. oh man.
the feeling is just too great to be expressed in words!

gawd, getting emo.

i love driving. thats all.

and i thank you Lord for everything that has been happening be it good or bad. i thank you Lord for opening up my eyes to everything and letting me know that with your strength, everything is possible because your strength is the greatest of all and you'd be the only one i could ever rely on.
i commit RP adroits in your hands...

sighs.

and i have nothing to be sorry abt cos i guess my reason for missing training is pretty objective. dont see why i have to write that apology letter or even have a word 'sorry' in it. arghs. i'll just hand in what i have.

and this is what it is:
I did not attend training on 9th April 2006 because from what I know, it was supposed to be on 8th April 2006. Apparently due to last minute changes on 6th April 2006 for whatever reason, I was unable to attend training as my work schdeule was already released on 4th April 2006 and it would make me irresponsible if I cancelled my Tuesday schdeule when I already did say I could work on 9th April 2006.

Thank you for your kind attention.

at least i said thank you!

AND I STILL DONT LIKE PANG HUI MIN!!! HMPH!
IT'S NOT FUNNY!!!!

good night.

2006-05-05T00:59:00.000+08:00

So I'm up at 12:10am. Came back about 45 minutes back from Jill's granddad's wake and RJ session at Toa Payoh's Mac. Was so sleepy but am not anymore lar. Sheesh. Downed longans! Yums. (= And shaker fries' yummy too! Kk.

Went for my 2nd driving lesson today and really THANK YOU LORD for the instructor *heart smiling* He was so damn patient lar. Still can talk story, ask me about powerpoint presentations when I told him I was taking IT in RP. Haha, damn funny. I think we talked more about other stuff than he teaching me stuff while I was driving around the circuit lar! AND THE ENGINE DOESN'T STALL ANYMORE! Hoho, less than before k. Maybe just twice? =X HEES! He said I'm more confident and I'm much better at turning, stopping before the white line and everything else. Hoho. (= See la, must relax tau if not I'll die sia in the car, STRESS! Thank you thank you LORD! This instructor's teaching made the other instructor look so damn bad I'm serious. Next lesson, Saturday. Must pray as I'm walking to the car that everything will go smoothly. Heard that I might be able to go out onto the road (= Hoho!

For the 100th time, or maybe more than that, I hereby ask the floorball people of Singapore to stop assuming! Hope you all know what I mean la eh! Man, nothing better to do tau!

To school or sleep in tomorrow? Maybe even stay home to revise for the whole lot of test coming up? FYP weekly logs? AHH! Then head down to school for 3on3. Sighs. Everyone's noticing my heavy eyebags. It's just adding on lar and freaking ugly. And it doesn't help that my hair is this colour now. Makes my face look more dull. Sighs... Sleep, sleeppp. Come to me!

Tomorrow, home or school.
Saturday, driving and more sleep after that.
Sunday. Man, training at like 5am! K la kidding. 9am =( Bukit Timah larrrrrrrrrrrrr, IM FINE WITH TAMPINES SPORTS HALL U KNOW!!! Then work the whole aftnn and night. Goodnesssss.

Guess what, I blew my whole pay on driving. Pray that money will drop from the sky now la ehhh. Have yet to get my monthly allowance! There's still hope! I'll just work more this month!

I talk too much. And I'd update lesser here k... So yeah...

Take care people of the world.

-Nicky signing out!

2006-05-02T20:23:00.000+08:00

edit.

To the girl who lives across the road,
really thank you for today (=
It's the first time in a long time that I was able to let out genuine laughters and I feel so damn good about it.

More to come I hope.. Hee.
Has anyone ever told you you're great company? (=

Take care.
____

Some mad escapade around Tampines today. So yes I skipped school today. Dad din want to let me skip 'cos I was sick lar and he din believe. So this is what I did. Both parents working morning kan, so I woke up at hohoho 8:15am, msged Sharain and yeap we met at 9:50am at our house bus stop. HEES. First time meeting her alright and it was good (= Macs breakfast.

Sonia came, we accompanied her to M1 then to Nokia care centre. Then Sonia left for work. Headed to TM where we went arcade. AHHHH that girl rocks lar at Time Crisis!! GROWLS! I must go play and challenge her next time. Make me malu jer tau! We din know what movie to watch. Whatever I wanted only had a slot at 6:30pm lar -.- So we settled for.......The Wild. HAHAHA. Kept laughing lar cannot take it! K la then we headed towards Street 21 to get her stuffies. Hung around for awhile cos we had to wait. Looked at fishies and just sat there to smoke, talked. (= Good that she talks a lot huh. Helps me open up also. Hees. So comfortable talking to you lar and it's not always like that during first meetings k so consider yourself lucky.

The whole time was just laughing and laughing lar.. With her funny stories. Oh man, Converse shoes. (= Hoho! She went to meet her friend after at town while I went to meet Sonia at her workplace to pass her her phone after I collected it for her. Ate during her break with her and headed home and I feel better! Don't feel sick nemore. Just got the running nose still. Hur. But all's good. (=

Yeap I had fun. See, don't need medicine okay. Indeed, Laughter's the best medicine. (=

K lar, that's done.

Pore pack thingy's on my nose. Slowly drying up now. OUT COMES THE BLACK HEADS! Hoho.
Conclusion: Being easily contented is good enough and I want that in me too can? HUR.

FYP tomorrow and off to get my hair done. WHEEEE (= FINALLY KAYS managed to get an appointment after how long.

I talk too much. BYE.

2006-05-01T15:38:00.000+08:00

10 months later.
306 days.

I'm officially s i c k. =(
Argh, don't know how I'm going to handle class tomorrow if my parents don't let me skip lar. Sighs. It's really damn pain this throat ears and nose. HUR. My ears are going to be blocked soon I swear! Arghhs. Don't complain already la eh. More water for Nicky!

Just woke up from a quick nap. Can't sleep in peace because the blardie weather is so hot and the fan doesn't help. And it doesn't help that I'm sick because I can't switch on the air-con! It'll just dry my whole nasal passage. And and I keep having weird dreams lar. Like that confirm gurantee 100% chop I'm falling sick like hell! Sighs. =( The most I'll just go to class sulking. Thank God not same team as Classmate eh. K well done.

And girl, faster date me out. Hoho. Yes just live opposite the road lar...What's taking you so long. Hees. K la shhhh.

I'm tired. And hungry.

Going now, tata...

2006-04-30T15:53:00.000+08:00

My urge to go club has finally been satisfied. And my Liquid Room card has finally been put to good use (= Hohoho. Thanks to you two who agreed to go with me! And you for coming last minute...But can't beat Chinablack's music la. Hais, too bad they closed down. Had a great time.. WHEEE (= Thanks again.

Before that met up with Yati Jas and Wileen for dinner. Weird la ehhhhh. But nvm, accompany Yati. Hees. Then met Meiwei and Joey...Headed to Esplanade to just relax and waited for that 2 to come. Hohoho. Sat for almost an hour till they came and we cabbed down to Gallery Hotel. Hohoho.

And I slept at 5am last night and had to wake up at like 10am to go to church =( My Mum larrr. Shock me sia yesterday when I came home... Cos it was already 3 plus then suddenly someone stand behind me. Lucky my heart strong if not I'd have died of a heart attack lar. IN THE DARK TAU SOMEONE STAND BEHIND YOU! Then know I come back so late still wake me up so damn early. I only slept at like plus minus 5am lar! Hais.

So I'm going to take a nap before dinner now!
Going Chomp Chomp tonight!!! =D

AND AND NO SCHOOL TOMORROW CANN!! *prances around*

TATA! (=

2006-04-29T01:44:00.000+08:00

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes,
we got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change,
the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on,
tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans,
I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

My dear girl just went back home together with the mad girl. Hohoho. Sonia and Joreen, that's my dear girl (Sonia), the mad girl (Joreen). Kk, enough explanation. Been a long time since I left my footprints here.

I'm damn tired since I came back from school.
Class ended like at 3pm today okay, WHAT THE HELL! And FYP meeting discussion thingy, accompanied by Oreo Cheesecake and Strawberry Cake, was damn quick. Good. Headed back to my Classmate's hometown with her and waited for mad girl to come. I could have gone home to sleep and she and my dear girl come later BUT NO, she had to choose to come meet me straight after school. SIGHS!

And oh man, really thank goodness it's Friday today...
Sonia commented I look pale k =( Die le, I'm going to use the whole of tomorrow to sleep! Will wake up only when I go out in the evening! Hopefully that will get rid of the ugliness. Am really TOO exhausted from 2 weeks of no proper rest. =( And they just left............. Rest, HERE I COME!

Alright alright I better head to bed now. My lil duck is waiting for me. Hohoho...

Nights. (=

2006-04-26T00:45:00.000+08:00

Came home an hour later than expected. What, 11:30pm?
On impulse I alighted at a bus stop in Pasir Ris, walked and walked all the way to Pasir Ris beach. 3 sticks at one go. First stick got me trembling and it was just crazy. And all that made it better was saying that little prayer in my heart, filling that empty space.

All that was around me was God's works...
The calming waves hitting the shore...The sea breeze.
The stars appeared slowly as the clouds cleared.
My heart was filled with His love and it was all I needed at that point of time.
I did not know who to turn to and remembering what Jill and Sonia said to me, I turned to Him and yes, He made everything alright.
The tranquility was beyond words.

Sighs Nicky, you're so foolish.

Stayed there awhile, took a deep breath and finally headed home. Now here I am.

I shall not say anything more,
this is all I have to say:

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had.

Rod Stewart's These Foolish Things is playing now. So glad I found the song. Been looking for it for a long long time! It shall be on my repeat list for awhile.

Put the emo stuff aside...Went to watch 'Take The Lead' with Classmate today. It was okay la har. I was half asleep and we were both like sleeping before the movie started. Eesh. What do you think leh? Classmate said 'Mad Hot Ballroom' nicer. I think 'Take The Lead' is damn hot! Heh heh. I like. HOTT. Let's go club lar Ghui!! Cannot take it!

FYP tomorrow. HUR. Snakes sucks lar. Blahs.

Alright I'm tired. Good night.

I'm already trying my best, can't you tell?
I'm Nic, I'm softhearted, don't you know?
Well, I want to give up trying to act strong!
I want to give up trying to give you what you want!
I want to give this up..... So badly...

No Nic, breathe in...and out 5 times, turn around and smile.

2006-04-25T16:22:00.000+08:00

I'm glad for today.
Love sessions like these. Hohoho.
Ya Kun and Creamy chicken. Hehs.
Thankiew for listening eh. You always know what to say lar.

And I feel bad for leaving class just like that considering the fac is so nice larrr! Shall not say what he did but yes..I shall not do it again okay. Next time I want to skip Tuesday's class you all have to stop me!!

And whatever the hell is Python shit crap I don't know lar k. Made me search shelves after shelves and all I could find was COBRA! Growls. All these programming language why must use snake names seh. Bleahs. So in the end I found ar 2 friggin thick books for us to burn our brains with. SIGHS. We'll pull through, I guesss. Slowly la eh!

Kk, I'm going to bury my head in that stupid book now. Shall end off here. Update tonight. TATA!

2006-04-22T02:08:00.000+08:00

My supervisor at work asked me today why I got chocolate on my ear -.- I was stunned at first then realised, it was my black ear studs larrr. *faints. How he see as chocolate sehh!
Then Jacky just want to be how funny lar but HUR he's like the only one I can be myself with at work and he's leaving =( He thinks I'm 18. Or his second guess, 15. *big grin*. He was sleepy till I told him I'm 20 his eyes open so damn big. Handsome fella you know =X Shhhh. Oh man, I can't believe I just said that. Well, my Mum thinks so too! HAHA. =X Kk, enough.

And it just started raining out of nowhere! Got up to close the windows since I'm the only one up at this hour and am waiting for Mum to get home from work! Hees. (:

I can't wait to get pay. They counted already, 20th. Ahhh! I have a craving for Soya Bean drink, Sushi and Pasta. Ishh.

And I saw the trailer for 'Take The Lead'. Hottt. Must go watch larrr! And I'm no movie person okay, when I say I want to watch a movie, I must go if not I'd never step in a cinema =X

Said that I don't want to work for 2 weeks but they planned schdeule already lar hais SO FAST NIEEEE. So please remind me that I have to tell in advance! SIGHS! Means I'd have work next week =( But it's just 3 days so it's fineeee. Monday, means I can't go training. Friday and Sunday. HUR.

Was busy scribbling in my organizer while waiting for the bus after work and in the bus on the way home. My life works so much better with it I'm serious! Post it's on my desktop does not work anymore! HAHA. It's just for counting days (= So next time don't know what to get me for Christmas...? Get an organizer for the new year for me pls!! HEES! Okay, not shy eh Nic. =X But eh, I don't want to open all my presents and have a million organizers in front of me larrrr -.- HUR. HAHA. Ok ok enough starting to crap already.

I'm hungry at 1:42am!! HUR.
Whole day before work I had 3 nuggets and 3 bites from a pau. All these shared with Sher, how loving =X Sat outside my classroom area and just chit chat and eat. HEES. (= More okie?
Then was fed at work! I LIKE! =D The only thing I look forward to going to work is the food I get to eat. Wahahahahahas.
So today it was one FULL meal and snackers. If it happens everyday, I'd be bones! HAHAHAHA.

Finals this Sunday. Woohoo. Excitingnyerr. Cancelled work to go okay. Had to lie that the school sent me for some floorball course shit lar =X Score for me, k? Haha. Missed semis because we were all in Melbourne. Heard it was damn exciting larrr. Knn and I missed it.

I'm supposed to be tired. Fell asleep the whole journey in the bus to work after that classmate of mine alighted. (= Hees, thanks lar. But now I'm so wide awake because why, I MADE MYSELF ICED KOPI AT WORK LAR! Added extra coffee somemore HUR.Everyone was saying how heavy my eyebags were and my dark eye rings. =( I was practically stoning and just keeping myself occupied by clearing dishes everytime I had a chance to and time just passed like extra slow. Ish!

One week of school has passed people and OKAY LAR IT'S NOT THAT BAD AS I'VE MADE IT SOUND! But I'm just so damn tired! No peace this weekend either except for Sunday morning and afternoon. Saturday is filled with Aunty's wedding lunch and WORK from afternoon till night =( 11pm. I sound like some desperate money making machine lar. Work work work jer. HAHA. But nevermind, it's all for the money! YES NICKY!

Let's recall the week's events.
BEAR WITH ME, I can't sleep so I'm just going to blog, A LOT.
Monday - First day of Year 3 Sem 1. Human traffic was terrible. Traffic light junction space restriction! BIG BIG CAMPUS that made walking from one place to another fucking tiring!! TRAINING IN THE NIGHT!
Tuesday - Second day of Year 3 Sem 1. HUR, school work and home sweet home.
Wednesday - FYP, Town, Woodlands, Town, Find camera. Dian, ChengYan and Jasmine Day.
Thursday - Third module. School, TRAINING!, home sweet home.
Friday - Fourth module. Dad sent me to sch because I woke up 1 hour and 15 mins late! School, work and here I am.

K LAR. I'm done, for real =X

I'm starting to get sleepy and Mum ain't home yet...She ended work at 1230am lar and it's already 2am. HUR.

Goodnighttt. (=

2006-04-20T23:03:00.000+08:00

I think school really sucks and I've been complaining since day 1. Sighs. So tempted to ~~skip this semester~~ but I shall not be stupid. Everyone would graduate and me there still studying with unknown people! Okay, I'd just have to TOLERATE! And I can do it. I'd just drop my stupid elective. Still waiting for my mentor's reply if it's possible then I can go email the head person whoever that is. Bleahs.

Have yet to get my iPod fixed and my practical lessons going la. Crap! Rain money now for me pls. Haha. Girlfriend's like going everyday lar. And like 2 sessions a day that kind. Sian larr. Let her finish fast fast don't care her. BLEAHS TO YOU!

Training today. Sighs. I still don't like her. Sorry. =X Wah, think this is the first time I'm proclaiming this so loudly but who cares la harrrr. But I go because I want to improve and I love floorball k! SHHHH! Who cares about anything else. I have a loving team and that's all that matters. BLAHS to those idiots.

This is so crazy but I have to tell myself this, "Nicky, it's just 16 weeks, ain't easy but please control! Control your stupid emotions please!" K, now that's done, breathe in and out and everything will be okay.

Ha, work tomorrow after sch. =( All for the money. Sighs.

Am so tired, going to log off, shower and off to bed for me! Take care everyoneeeee. =D

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

2006-04-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

Hehs, FYP thingy in school turned out to be how disappointing when we realised there wasn't a single book la in the library. Oh well, tough luck eh. Just sat in our classroom and did some reading up and that's it.

Headed down to town aft that to shop for her shoe, talk, eat and find camera. YES we found a camera! Canon ixus 5.0 mega pixels one la. Oh gosh, it was in the middle of nowhere and everyone just walked passed it. What the hell seh. So I went to pick it up. Wheee and so we had a few shots of ourselves. Haha. Yay (= And it's not that we did not want to return it, the qn was who to return it to la since it was in the middle of NOWHERE! HEES. Then accompanied the girl who was with me (LOL!) back to yadayada most faraway land in the world and I went back to town to meet Chengyan and Jasmine. Walked walked walked, almost died and settled at Cartel for a drink and snackers that made us so damn full! And headed home..COS I'M SO FREAKING TIRED! For I don't know what reason la eh.

And it's time for me to read up more on Anomaly Detections. Sighs, FYP =(

K la, I'm tired. And okay I already said that. Haha.

My Dad just came in to ask me whether I've fed my fishies -.- And I stupidly went to say, "I fed them yesterday already." Then he went on to say what you need three meals a day then your fish need only one meal a week ar. HURR.

Ok la I really wanna go now. HAHA.

BYE!

2006-04-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

I'm back from work. Finally.
Arrived just in time and the place was so damn empty. Was asked to go eat my dinner so I did. Made some fried beehoon thingy with chicky wings. After I'm done, THE DAMN CROWD CAME IN! Like non stop seh. Like they know I just finished eating want to make me do work la. I was practically 'running'. GROWLS! Thank God I was doing floor though, not cashier if not I'd just die.

Headache like fuck la halfway during work and it's still going on now.

Sighs, that fcuking sick habit caused me to lose my temper for no fucken reason at her and I'm 100% chop gurantee with all my heart am feeling so damn bad abt it. Everything is ok ain't it? I hope. Because it's for my own good and I had no reason to get angry, right? I could only apologise, nothing else. Sorry girl, really am...

School, sighs. It's only the first week and I don't want to go on already. Don't ask me why, I can't explain either. Maybe I'm just tired.

Off to Apple Centre tomorrow morning before heading down to school for FYP meeting. Yes, FYP. Sighs. Meeting the mad girl in the evening after that, go hunting for her job and just walk around. Yay (=

Darn, just realised I haven't do RJ yet. It's almost 1:30am. Madness. Lucky it closes at what, 8am? Ha. K, will go get it done now and off to bed if I want to get up early tomorrow. Sighs, WOODLANDS SUCKS LAR SERIOUSLY! Why move there seh, Redhill so comfortable don't want. GROWLS!

Good day peoplee. Tata.

Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing she was still here
Said I'm so sick of love songs so sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

2006-04-17T19:15:00.000+08:00

First day was ok, not as bad as I thought. Maybe I think too much la har. Well, I've got 15 weeks and 3 more days to go. Easy Nicky.

Lost my train of thoughts. Argh.

The new campus is so huge, you get tired just getting from one place to another.

I hate the thought of having to turn to those sticks to get my mind off stuff. It's the first thing I think of whenever something makes me go ARGH or simply anything that makes me frown. Sighs. A waste of money and a waste of my life. Dammit. Why do I even do it seh.

Whatever.

Time to go for training. Tata.

2006-04-16T16:35:00.000+08:00

Don't know why I'm so tired. Even rejected an offer to go down to town for coffee. =( Oh man, think I shoud go sleep before dinner. Still early la harrr. We'll only go over at 7pm or something. Yawnns.

School tomorrow.

Sighs...
Like can the sigh get any louder?
Early mornings, crowded buses and trains, human traffic on the walkway towards school. All that going to make Nic a very grumpy girl in the morning. Sheesh. On a lighter note going to be with my girls first thing so yeah, not so bad eh... And it doesn't help that your classroom is on the 5th level for 3 days and the 6th for a day for a whole damn semester which is what 16 weeks. Oh man. Lifts would be packed and taking the stairs would be a much better option. Nevermind think of it as a way of getting fit, more fit that is. Ha. Crap.

K, I think I should go nap. Goodness or I'd just go on whining. =(

Nights world.

Just let me hold you
while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you
and we'll both fall down

2006-04-16T00:10:00.000+08:00

Alright so I'm finally back home able to blog properly.

Tomorrow's EASTER! =D All the chocolate EGGS! Wooooots! =D

Let's recap what I did on Friday and Saturday k.
Friday was what, Good Friday right. Went to church. Left like halfway la because after 1 hour, the mass was only what, 1/2 done! And had to go meet the girls so ya. Headed down to Newton... Met up with Sonia Yati Joey Meiwei and the KC girls...Headed down to Jill's church and wahahahas Jill in a video acting as a Mother. Oh man. HAHA. JILL LEH! But okay la can la har =X Shhhh. Then went next door to Adam Road food centre to makan dinner. WHEEE. Bought Fish&Chips and Prawn Noodles and shared those with Ms Chia. Yums la. Headed home after that. Yawns...

Saturday, today. HEES Bianca came over and I had the responsibility to teach her, CHINESE. *slaps forehead* Naughtiest girl ever la. Ask her to write the word 'EYES' in Chinese, she drew our EYE for me la. *slaps forehead like hell* SO NAUGHTY CAN! Then think I kidding with her when I scold her. Growls. Nevermind. Then went down to Bugis to meet Jill and Sonia...Walked around, Starbucks-ed with Joey and Meiwei too...Then they left, Jill left too for church..Sher and Deb came and we headed down to Newton while the other two stopped at Orchard. K so ya we went down to watch that video, again. Her fault! Force me go down. Blahs. HA. After that makan-ed at the food centre again la with Sher and Deb! This time it was ice jelly and prawn noodles. Fat fat fat la.... 67-ed home with her and her duck that got poked in the eye and whacked by me WAHAHAHAS. =X Just talked and talked (= As always. K la dah.

Easter dinner tomorrow at my Aunty's place!!! EXCITING! Some easter egg hunt too! WAHAHAS (= The invitation is still there extended to you alright! Msg me.

Class allocation, hur.
E35A and E36Q is all I'll say.
Will check out the babes and dudes on Monday.
Oh ya Adroits darlings we're meeting 7:30am (?!?!?!?!?!) at Woodlands MRT. Let's take a slow walk to school alright! HEES! All of us.

THAT'S ALL!

TATA!

2006-04-14T01:07:00.000+08:00

my ipod is a goner. forever la.
need to send it back to apple centre.
near my driving centre...just want to be how far la. and it's a public holiday so i can't send it. have to freakin' wait till monday. fuck la. i can't live a bus or train ride without it la! hais. i'm grumpy and i have work tomorrow k. at like 630am la. fuck fuck fuck.

and monday is school! growls.
might send my ipod during break. either that or aft sch which might b too late cos the centre wld have closed already unless lesson ends early.

and class allocation is not out la. it's a public holiday and when isit gonna come out seh. crapp la.

let's talk about smething else happier. finally met up with jess and yan today!!
yeaps went to makan walk walk all from like cine to far east and far east to PS la! they just want to kill me k.

then i headed down to bugis to wait for my parents to go church. hurrr. walked around bugis street and wah lau eh i bought 2 watches cann!! haha some sorta shopping spree here but i walked around for a damn long time before deciding what to buy. lol. kk so i'm happy and showed off to my parents and cousins all when i headed over to church. hehe. (: k that's good enough to brighten my day...

and ya la that's all okie. i nothing to say already cos im starting to get grumpy all over again and i shld go shower and slp nw cos i only have 5 hours left of slp! FUCK!

kk bye!

wait, here are my watches!

2006-04-13T00:19:00.000+08:00

okay so I didnt end work at 12mn today. instead i was allowed to leave at 830pm because the whole place was empty the whole entire day la! the crowd came for like 10 mins and that's it. i was just playing with the gravy area...stirring all the soups, laksa meesiam gravy all looking damn sian till my assistant manager asked if was tired and whether i wanted to go home!! hees. (: so of cos i said YES like damn enthusiastic la. suddenly awake. thank God for sensitive Assistant Managers!!!! at least i found some guy who is sensitive. HAHAHA. =X *looks at Sher* okie whatever.

and we did not go Chinablack either cos...everyone else din want to go. only like me sher and deb la. weird la. so yeaps we cancelled.

now im eating. at this awfully weird time that will just make me fat.

and i just did a clear up of my luggage. too many clothes la. let's list down what i bought k, for myself that is..the rest can write later la har =X

Quiksilver berms $45
Jayjays checkered berms $29
Quiksilver long sleeve shirt $44
Quiksilver surf tshirt $27
Jayjays sweatshirt $25
Converse tshirt $12
Essential Man sweatshirt $20
P.o. Box Striped Polo $10.95
Cotton On Striped Polo $15
Jayjays Jacket $25
Nike Slippers $15 (Me and Sher got similar ones!)
Jayjays Backpack $10 (Freaking cheap and nice la!)
Exel blade $32

that's stuff for myself la har. hmms.
hope I didnt miss out anything.
everything just wanna b how cheap la. i went beserk in the quiksilver shop i swear. a shirt that used to cost 79bucks is 44bucks la! MAD CAN!!
and i got 11 berms now. oops =X the ratio of tops to berms is like 1:200 la. that kind. need more tops!

and i got too many sweatshirts. din realised. they were all too nice at first sight...i bought all those on impluse la. die ar. nvm, rp classroom cold la har =X yes.

okay la i wanna go continue eating.
then off to bed. pig seh.

off to meet jess and yanyan tomorrow for lunchieeee. hees (= been so long lar since i saw those two. FINALLY! *hugs!

then off to meet mum and dad at church. church visiting tomorrow. means im going to miss training. growls!!

k la BYE!

2006-04-12T10:48:00.000+08:00

Don't know why I'm up so early.
Yeaps, I'm back home in Singapore (:

The weather there was wow-weeee. I love it. So cold that your fingers would just feel numb every other time. LOL. No one expected it to be that cold alright. Sheesh.

My nails are finally chopped off. Eeky long nails. And everything I say just going to be so random. Don't know if it's advisable to blog down all 7 days events. Haha I'll try okay to recall stuff. Just be careful, this entry is gonna be so damn draggy, don't complain!

Day 1
Arrived into Melbourne..Bus took us to Mornington where we stopped by the competition venue for awhile then headed over to Dromana Tourist Park! LOVE THAT PLACE SO MUCH! (: 6 to a house and yes it was so lovely la just like a normal house. Hees. Then headed off for training. The cold weather could have killed all of us plus the rain. We were fighting against the cold winds la. Breathing in so fast because our body not used to the cold air. Growls.
THEN AFTER THAT WE WENT GROCERY SHOPPING! Oh gosh..The higest spender was Fish' cabin! 273plus bucks! Our cabin only spent like....150plus? LOL. Just buy and buy, no need money liddat. LOL. Well we had 550bucks to spare la so ya. Hees. Then headed home and it was our first night cooking dinner.

Day 2, 3, 4
Competition days. Endless warm ups because we had like 3 games a day that kind. And yeaps the girls made it into semis (: So we had a 3rd day of competition. It was morning jog to the beach as well. Ahhh the rain and wind will kill my lungs la I swear. Panting like a mad dog but well, all in the name of Floorball and my fitness. Hahas. =X

Day 5 and 6
SHOPPING MADNESS!! Having extra money with me is just not good. I shopped too much!! Simply too much that my Mum nagged for buying so much clothes. Hehs, I bought more berms as well =X Shhh. LOL. Like 2 more to my collection and a million other tops...and nike slippers and just a lot to wear for school la har. I better not complain I have nothing to wear for school anymore or I'll just get another lecture. Hurrr. Who ask everything there to be so nice! Kns. HAHA. And it was what, all factory outlets la so cheap don't know for what seh. Nike, Adidas, Quiksilver...Those la harr. Wahahas. Jayjays, Cotton On, Darrell Lea chocolates! OH MAN!! I WANNA GO BACK THERE!!

And yeaps, spent my last night sitting on the porch ledge staring at the stars for the last time! The night sky is simply the best because the whole sky is FILLED with stars (: Ahhhh can. I wanna move there already, who going to move with me? LOL!

Day 7 was spent mostly at the airport and in the aircraft. Pretty flight stewardess larr. Kk and Rumour Has It is good. Watched like so many movies and time still passed so damn slowly. Growls..

Arrived back into SG airport and bought my Vodka. LOL. Another one to my collection! (:

K la like damn tired la and I still have to go work at 3pm! All the way to 12mn...Then meeting the girls over at Chinablack. Hehs. The company cab will send me there!! Thank God for company cabs. LOL!

I'm hungry and oh man, school is starting next week ): Just want to be how fast lar.

Oh well, kays I better get going. Maybe nap a little..Watch tv or something la har.
Will upload my Aussie pics soon!

TATA!

and here, finally. my tattoo.
Did it before I left for Melbourne.
It looks abit weird because it's peeling so ya. Haha.
(: LOVELY AINT IT! HEES!
It's on my lower back by the way.
Going to add on my butterfly as well. Wahahas. But that one will be done later la harr. Not now.

2006-04-03T21:42:00.000+08:00

Alright, I'm leaving tomorrow and yes la I haven't packed okay. Die ar. If forget anything, I've only got myself to blame ok. GROWLS. But am waiting for Sonia to come over. HEEE. She's going to help me pack. *giggles. I can't do such things alone la. Heh heh.

And I've got a big surprise for you all tomorrow. Wahahas. I'm excited. (= *winks. Can't wait can't wait. HEES.

SEE U ALL ADROITS tomorrow!

And goodbye one and all other than my adroits.
LOL.

I'll be back in a weeks' time (=
MISS ME K!

Tata.

my lappy is in the hospital by the way. no more blue line after it comes back! my sister's laptop so difficult to type la. small like hell the keyboard. growls.

2006-03-29T14:30:00.000+08:00

My previous entries are all shit.
Ha.

I'll be leaving for awhile.

Take care.

"Remember this Nicky,
You mean nothing to her,
and she means nothing to you too."

"Sighs, ok."

2006-03-28T22:54:00.000+08:00

Lemme just add on some pics as promised. (=

That's my ugly fat leg with the 2 bruises that was caused by the sliding of my knee on SMOOTH GROUNDS. blahs.

Little thing at work with me. That's one of the order tags!! =D 61 leh!

It reads 'Nicole the pig'. Stella's EVIL WORK!! She calls me a pig cos I love to sleep. Cos whenever she msgs...I'll be slping, all the time =X

_____

I could never understand what's making you stay...
And what's making me stay. Alright, I'm lying about the second part but ya, I could never understand why you're still here.
Like wouldn't it be a load off your shoulder if I just left or you just told me you saw no point to this anymore? No ah? More freedom ma...Nicky will no longer be part of you...Your heart will be lighter... Then you'll feel less obligated to do stuff or rather..just hang out with me for the sake of just being there with me. I don't want you to feel obligated anymore. Can?

I'm such a bitch la can, I admit. Just tell it to my face man. Why are you all still my friends leh? Tell me!! ARH!

Workie tomorrow with the cute girl again! *jumps. Or not I can't be bothered to go work seh. And I want to go swim and get my tan can! But it freaking rains every day now arr.

Training today was wah lau eh what's wrong with the world man...She made us run 10 rounds after drills. Of which 8 rounds of running...each round in 2 mins and 1 round she let us walk. So this time its only 9 rounds. Ya. All in the name of fitness. Runs and more runs.

My emotions has just been a rollercoaster of late. I'd be so damn upset and start to tear for no fucken reason then I'd be so fucking angry and scream vulgarities. I should stop drinking water because I kinda realise the excess water will go into my tear ducts. HAHA will it? =X Anyhow jer.

And wah lau eh this week just want to pass how fast ar. In less than a week I'll be saying goodbye to this island for about 7 days. But not much to worry because I have my girls with me la and they're all I need now! And we'll just throw Sonia into one of your bags eh?

Arh, need my dose of emo-ness at Mr Merlion's house and nicotine so badly.

Why do I feel like I've been disappointed by the whole world leh? This sounds so familiar can. Jill said it to me once that everyone else can disappoint you but only He won't. So ya, I've just been feeling so....alone... Like the thought of who I can turn to now will just be..Empty. No one. I just have to rebuild my faith again, slowly.

Who can I rely on anymore?
Sad to say, I'm sorry, but I don't think I see that in anyone anymore.
Only Him...and I've yet to find the strength.
But I understand, no one's perfect. We're all humans, right? So what can I expect from everyone else if I'm just going to let myself down... I must learn to accept myself before whatever la harrr. Sounds familiar eh? Been hearing this for the past 2 days by the one who has been talking to the team for the longest time.

I'm just so into myself la that I need to snap out of this shit, seriously and just wake up.

I want to go wash up and go to sleep. Freaking tired and my muscles hurt so bad that I can hardly walk properly.

Signing out.

I don't want to be the Nicky that

you all once knew anymore...

I know I'm going against Jill's words, again, but sorry I can't bring myself to be nice...not anymore.

2006-03-28T01:58:00.000+08:00

Rushed off after training today because I was an hour late for work! Jill was 'lecturing'. And yeaps it was her who took us for training today. (= Some long team talk thingy and you know how much she talks larrrr...And a short game after that. Played like 2 freaking shifts and left! BUT IT WAS GOOD! Thankiew Daddy for waiting for me and sending me to work!

Everyone was so nice at work today arr. HEE. Had fun. Stella made me NICE ice milo because the one I made suck like big timeee we just had to throw it away. Still working on it alright! Usually I don't make my own Milo la! IM A PRINCESS WHAT! LOL! =X Dinner was good too, I guess. And she was just carrying my little ducky with her today ar and fattening the face up. UGLY! Will show you pics when I transfer them to my comp! Yes the little duck was sitting on the cash register today as well...
We sound so free ar and ya la the place wasnt even crowded today can. Like ghost town. It was only 15 mins before I ended work that all the customers decided to come. Was keying in orders as fast as I can and helping her make drinks whenever I could. Wah liew who comes to eat and drink at 10:45pm la. =X Ok ok Nicky shhhh.

So nice to have people around me eh at a time like this where being alone will make me go crazy. Scary.

Training tomorrow and late lunchie with Jar.
I should go down ar to SSDC and book my first practical! Arghs, checked out the slots...Not much left for Friday, the only day that I have free this week ar. Better go down fast fast and book. Leceh nyer everytime must go down! If my freakin' printer had ink, I could just book online larrr. GROWLS.

And there he is telling me about her when I'm....... Hmms ya. I feel bad...but...ain't my fault...she made it clear already what.

AND..
It's only wise if I let things go. Let the matter rest. Just be professional ___ mates and that's all, nothing more and nothing less either. I can't see clearly what I did wrong and I don't want to blame myself for no reason at all but if that's the way someone wants things...I'll jolly well give it to him/her, that's me I guess.

Jill said today something about being nice..And I'd have to disagree with her. Why be nice seh. I know I'm crazy, sorry, but ya...Being nice is my weakness... I'll become soft-hearted one and it has to stop because it's being used as a weakness ar.

You think I'll be there all the time from now on?
You think I'll allow you to use me when you need me and chuck me aside when you're done?
Well, hell no, you're wrong man... I ain't going to be the Nicky you all know anymore.

I don't want to be the one on 'standby'.
I'm tired of that...and I hope you jolly well know it.
Spare me your excuses la eh. I'm tired of the way you manoeuvre your way out...all the time. And I can be stupid enough to give you space to do so.

I'm so contradicting la eh because I'm like that.

End of story seh about this matter. Moving on.......

I can't wait for Melbourne's final briefing and room allocation *stares at Seri* What if I said really comes true!?!?! =X HEHE. I'm like damn excited to whack and slash la. WAHAHAHAS. And shop..and eat!! IM GOING TO BUY SO MANY APPLES WHEN WE GET THERE!! HEE! (= I need to make a shopping list too! My own packing list...and what I need to bring along to Australia for Mummy asap as well. AHHH. Time to get organised. HAHA. Okie, will settle that tomorrow.

OH man..Did not realise the time. EH. 1:56am. Why I not tired eh.

Kk...AM GOING. LONG ENTRY AGAIN!! Tata... (=

A simple kind of lovely (:

2006-03-27T10:46:00.000+08:00

My head is spinning, my eyes hurt like fuck...
I have no more flu though but argh my knees hurt like hell!! I can't kneel down or what la even bending my knee after staying stagnant at a position KILLS!

AND WHY THE HELL AM I UP SO EARLY!!

And I have the weirdest dreams last night. FUCKIN' WEIRD!!

Kept falling at yesterday's match. HUR, till the referee said this to me at the end of the match,
"Try not to fall so much okay."
APER NIE! YOU THINK I WANT TO FALL MEH! FUNNY AR U! Haha.

Friendly cum training later and it's off to work for me. Thank God man I start work late. HUR. And no work for me tomorrow. Like really "THANK YOU LORD!".

It's funny how we'll only remember Him when we're in need. Like all the little details and good stuff somehow sometimes we'll forget that without Him, nothing is possible because yes His strength is the greatest!

When when when can I go for my first practical lesson. Looking at my little book, ahhhh like don't have eh free day. Aper nie. Haha. I want to go for one session before I go Australia can anot?

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO GO CLUB GIRLS!! GET WASTED WITH ALL THE DRINKS AND NICOTINE! AHHHH!

And from today onwards, I'm going to go around with an apple in my bag. Hehe. I found apples in my fridge SHERILYN!!! =) But getting more apples for me doesn't hurt la har. HEEE.

Guess last night's sleep made me feel...better?
I still feel 'sigh-ish' but much better compared to last night. See, was just the lack of sleep I reckon.

Kk...I better get going. Like pack my stuff and all although I have so so much time to spare. Wahahas. Maybe I'll just go back to sleep. HUR.

2006-03-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

Kanina chaocheebye.
Thought I could come home to some peace but fuck no some asshole just want to spoil it all for me. Fuck.
You mixing with that fucken grp of people made you like that. Stop trying to fit in la fuck. They will just make use of you knowing them. Kanina.

That just had to make my mood fucking worst.

I woke up at 0530, had work at 0630 till 1030 then my match was at 1400 and I stayed over at TSH all the way till the 2000 match ended.

Match today was....Okay.
Played the entire match okay, thought I was going to die la freaking tired and my stamina sucks.
Don't know what to say but after not playing so long, it sure does feel good. And Girlfriend scored (= WELL DONE!

Last season it was the first match that got me thinking like this.
This season it's the last match. Kanina.

History is obviously repeating itself. High hopes makes Nicky a silly girl. I feel so damn stupid la har fullstop. No no exclaimation mark. HUR. Who am I man to expect so much.

Slept almost the entire match during Saints and Genesis. That's how tired I was because I din know the match was already at 3rd period when I woke up. Thought it was only the 1st period. Woke up just to catch Moosemen and Merahans. WELL DONE MAN MERAHANS! WOOHOO!

Was with my music most of today, just din feel like doing anything else but sleep, watch match and blasting my music. Din want to go home either so just stayed put there. I feel so damn fucking sick and tired la har. Now I fucking can't wait to go to Australia, leave everything behind for 6 days. Just me, floorball, Adroits and Melbourne fullstop.

Swollen eyes and mad thoughts...FUCK ALL OF THIS!!

And Sonia, sorry for leaving just like that.

2006-03-25T23:02:00.000+08:00

It's okay, maybe I haven't reached that level where I'll be the first person you think of whenever you felt down.
(Cos you'll b the first in mind.)
And I don't feel good about it knowing that you're always there for me and I can't be the the same for you. It just sucks okay.

But whatever, I'm always here, just so you know.

And I don't want anything to change just because I blogged this down. Just let things go with the flow la k.

Bye.

2006-03-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

I feel like drinking Chinese tea.

Went for some big dinner la today. Grandma ordered so much food! And out of all the seafood I only had the tom yam soup, stingray and kangkong. HEE =) SHIOK LA K! Changi Village there. MUAHAHAHAS.

School again la today. Oh man. Joreen idiot made me go all the way to Airport to find her then we headed down to school with Kok Siong in the bus with us arr. Don't know why man today so freakin' tired. Think it's my monthly best friend, making me moody. Sorry Precious if I wasn't my usual self today! We just slept in the bus..all the way from school to ys. Eh, and I stared into space most of the time la har.
Headed over to SSDC from there. HA, the classrooms all just want to be how cold la. My fingertips were so cold that I could not touch the 'touch-screen' properly k. Had to press so hard so many times ar because I could hardly feel my damn fingertips!!! The jacket wasn't of much help considering there was nervous-ness during the freaking practice and test!! AND I PASSED. MUAHAHAHAS. *bows* Thanks for everyone's support. HAHA giler. Attempts to scare people on the phone did not work la. One asked me, 'HUH GUESS WHAT??'..another one kept imitating my 'HUR'. Blahs.

AND IT'S A FREAKIN' FRIDAY! Means, another week burnt. OH MAN. That leaves us with...3 weeks! =( Just want to be how fast. KANINA!

I want to go training on Monday and Tuesday CANNNN! FUCK I THINK IM WORKING! Going to ask Ah Mei change. HUR. TOMORROW. MENTAL NOTE PLS REMEMBER NICKY!

I'M TIRED.

And I have so many rivals want to take away Girlfriend away from me la. HOW. Kanina. She's MINE ar.

Okie, going to slp. Morning tomorrow. 0630 =( SIGHS.

TATA.

2006-03-22T18:22:00.000+08:00

I have the craziest idea that came to mind when thinking about stuff today. My mind was so set on doing it that I msged the 2 girls that holds the "key" to my youknowwhat...and one gave me a 'lecture' and the other called me crazy but said I could do it if I wanted to. HURR.

And conclusion...
Yes I'm going to do it.

Got opinions from others as well, not very good response la har. I mean, why would it be good also? HEH.

I M EXCITED NOW =D

My day's just the worst today =( Did not feel good at all. Spilled the whole damn coffee all over the place...That caused everyone to hassle to clean up when the place was so damn crowded. THEN I FREAKING DROPPED KAYA TOAST COS IT SLIPPED OFF THE DAMN PLATE. ARGHS. =( I was practically shivering at work today because I felt so lost suddenly. Then I became so tired but I just kept on working and working, kept clearing tables and refused to eat when I was asked if I wanted to. I din even go on a break, not once. Okay I did go to the toilet to check my hp and all. But that was it! I was on my feet from 0630-1300. I have the strongest leg ever now la I think. Then I waited for Mum to end work by sitting in the skytrain and going to and fro T1 to T2 back to T1 then T2 (you get the picture) like 5 times. Then finally stopped at T2 and went to meet Mum. The viewing mall there's so tiny now la compared to the one at T1! NOT NICE!!
And we wenta have Swensens!! =) HEHEHE.
Then my mood uplifted abit cos good food and ice cream makes me happyy. (=

And the ice cream is damn pretty la!!!! Here it is!

PRETTY RIGHT! Like how executive lunch looking laaaa. Cannot take it.

Then now I'm sleepy because I'm sneezing and yes, am gonna fall sick cos my head is pounding as well so I guess I should go face the fan at my face and sleep...My bed is calling at 6:20pm! =X

BYE!

2006-03-21T21:10:00.000+08:00

I'm so so so so tired!! Might just turn in early tonight for once. I hope I'd b able to fall aslp though. And work is becoming sucha dread but it's okay, my motivation is the fact that I have to you know yang nu ren (support ladies). HAHAHA. And if I want to go for countless dates and just have fun, yes. And I need plenty money to do that. HAHA. Nicky's mad. The exhaustion (if there's even sucha word) is getting to me so bad.

EH no work today like I'm how happy la CANN!!! =)

It was school for fund raising in the morning. HUR. The girls tried to rip me off...WANTED ME TO BUY A PACKET OF DRINK FOR 1 FREAKIN' DOLLAR LA cos i refused to buy lunch!!!! But i din give in till they slashed the price so ya. HUR!!! And lunchie and movie after that. Mad hot ballroom just want to be how nice laaaaaa. CUTE NYER!! Go watch k... Then it was just walking around. Walk walk walk walk...Aimlessly. HEH. Then went back to the north...and back home sweet home. Sweet home. *pui. Come back only kena naggings seh. AND IM NOT HAPPY LA K.

But thanks, thanks for today. (=

I have to learn how to be contented that she's still there after all that has happened and not ask for more hor? Yes.

K. Tired la.
I WANNA GO SLP! BYE!

the feeling in me was so bad,
that longing feeling....for you,
although you were just nxt to me.

2006-03-19T11:48:00.000+08:00

I don't want to go work anymore =(
I just want to slack and burn my hols away cann?
Feeling so fuckin' lazy larr.

But it's all for Australia.
All for my many wants.
And all for that girl's 10 carat diamond ring.
HURRR.

Talking about burning hols.
HEH. 2 weeks have gone...JUST LIKE THAT!!
But come to think of it, it went by like damn slow la! KAN? HUR.
Let's recap what I did...
I worked..worked...and worked.
SO PRODUCTIVE. Well Done Ni Ke! (=

SO IN CONCLUSION!
There's 4 weeks more to go!
Next week..Which starts tomorrow, will be working FREAKIN' MORNING 0630 WHOLE FREAKIN' WEEK!!! Except Tuesday that is. (=

My 4th-10th April week will be spent in Melbourne.
Means I have 3 weeks. Enough la har?
PP, PP, oh PP. MUST, get it done. MUST MUST.

Thinking about first day of sch's so tiring. =( Imagine just the thoughts are tiring...HAAAAA. Nicky mad! Then the real thing howww. I need plenty wake up calls at like..0530. HUR.

Okay la, I'll update later? HUR. End work at 2200 today, either that or 0000. HUR.
And tomorrow morning 0630 start la!

New week already eh...
Means...
All the best for your exams ya? (=
STUDY HARD and SMART alrighht?
You'll be in my prayers. *hugs.
I'll be here! (=

Alright, I want to go watch tv and eat. HUNGRY!!
TATA!

whispering those words,
holding you so so close.
why must it all b a dream?

2006-03-18T02:18:00.000+08:00

i know i promised.
a million times.
but i'm sorry, i cant.
i cant give u what u want.
just cant...

i tried, i did...
and you know it...
but i'm sorry...

really am. sheesh.

just came home like an hour ago from sonia's place. she cooked but i din eat cos...i dont eat that meat la harr. sorrrryyy. =( erms. ya. and her niece is so damn cute! cant wait for her to send me the pic HEEEE!
i think i'm pms-ing. goodness. everything's just getting to me again. arghs. shldnt have brought it up when, erms, i was asked about it. when will i ever let it go man seriously. growls. and it's freakin' 2am.
i must look forward, erase everything behind me. if she doesnt care, why shld i. =( ahhhh. nickyy. nickey. key. and nic is the lock. hur sonia came up with that. and that was so random. but ya, funny la har. but why din it mean anything to u. huhhh? where did i freaking go wrong? huh? sighhs la.
and no la, im not talking abt u.

i want to forget everything now. knock my head, erase the memories. just do anything to forget that part of my life and just let me go on. far far away from those stupid thoughts. ah fuck i cant slp. must have been that tea. and my itunes aint making things better. ahhh kanina la.

now it just has to play micheal buble's 'you belong to me'. hurrr. the walk home just now was so lovely cos tonight's breeze so damn shiok la. had my ipod for company and hurr i had 3 freakin' shadows!! dont we all just have 1? and it was like...1250am? hurr. but nvm the shadows all looked the same so it was just me walking alone. i hope =X hee. madness la nick. there i go talking to myself, again. die la harr.

and i feel like eating chicken wings.

dinner party later over @ nicole's, and yes we share the same name, me and my sec sch mate.
match. team talk. eesh. so many things, all at the same time.

depressed already. bye.

to view other entries, find the archives. hur. i'll stick to one post now.

2006-03-17T02:23:00.000+08:00

update@3:53pm

Still can't stand the fact that,
it meant:
NOTHING.
_____

update@12:23pm

CANT TAKE IT!!!
KANINA JUST WANNA TORTURE ME HOW BAD!!!
sighs.
_____

Finally a peaceful night after work, all alone in my room! My sister's over at her class chalet and I have my music blasting. WOW. And it's almost 2am but who really cares. Have to wake up early to help my Mummy with the stupid things at home HAIS! But it's okay, my Mummy have been taking care of me so long le, time for me to help out la harrrr. HURR.

Anyways, some situation going on here eh...
C'mon let's stop blaming each other le okiee? I guess there's some sort of miscommunication going on...

Everyone's just getting each other wrong. And yes I read Liying's blog and hey, am really sorry I can't go down alright? Work constraints but of course I'm thankful to you guys for helping US to raise funds for OUR living standards in Australia...HUR, the most we help you all do laundry? I also don't know what to say la harr but I guess everyone is seeing things very one sided eh and everyone is just being sensitive now la harr...and jumping to conclusions about certain things we say or blog about.

LET ME EXPLAIN BEFORE I GET BOMBARDED TOO!!! Being sensitive means...NOT REALLY A BAD THING BUT!! Guess everyone's so caught up with our own thinking that just saying a little bit will agitate us without much thought? YES, that kind of sensitive okie. NOT THE CHILDISH KIND, but...the ya la you all get the picture... All pass English right...Floorball girls English quite good ma right? =X

And if everyone's just going to get angry with people speaking their mind in the first place at respective blogs and tagboards, I don't see that need for a team talk la har.

But hope you all will take things in with an OPEN MIND, instead of jumping to conclusions without thinking twice.

And I reckon that's often the cause of conflicts?

K now now, let's all be good and stop squabbling?
I'm sure, NO NO, I believe that we can all talk things through and have smiling faces on the 4th of April at Changi Airport Terminal 1 okieee? *hugs.

AND keep up the good work to those who has been going down to help and to our new leaders especially... KAYS? HUR, the most I cook for you all la har in Australia. BEST I CAN DO.

Sighs, this entry is tiring my puny brain!

I hope I did not say anything wrong in this entry. HURR.

BACK TO MY NORMAL ENTRY!

Work was okay. Tiring, busy at times and I kept getting calls and messages. AHHH. Pardon me if I couldn't reply fast or answer those calls. So many private numbers somemore!! Please leave a message if you want me to call you back! Will be working the WHOLE of next week except Tuesday. HURR God bless me. MORNING ALL THE WAY LA. Nevermind, at least my day won't be wasted by sleeping in eh? AND YES I'LL BE GOING BACK TO TRAINING NEXT WEEK! Cheer for me, faster la!

HEE work work work equals money money money. I can just feel my Billabong bermudas okiee. And I haven't been getting good responses. I know I have plenty berms already but it doesn't hurt to get just ONE more right? *pouts. Don't like that laaa. HEE. I know i have 7 already but 8 is a good number so SHHH! I want one more, I DONT CARE. I MUST HAVE IT! One day wear one ma...If rain then one cannot dry, I can always use the 8th one what right? WHO AM I KIDDING. HAHA. =X But wah lau eh. I WANT LA. I can't believe I freakingly blogged one whole paragraph about BERMS la! So crazy.

She finally replied, yeaps. Got excited when I saw in my email that I received a message from you la on Friendster! You left, just like that, without a word la sighs. Good to hear from you... *HUGS. Sighs. =(

HUR next time NO ONE IS ALLOWED to just leave me quietly in Singapore like that ar and run away to some far country where the only cheapest connection we have is the internet and snail mail!! HUR. Idiot. I'll cry one leh!

I just heard something, my bed's calling, so loudly.
And I have people waiting for me in dreamland. HEE.

I must get to sleep already goodness... Mum's going to wake me up like how early la! Daddy will be home tomorrow too (= YAY!!

OKIEE! I'm going, i'm going.

THANKS, to those who read up to here. =X I LOVE YOU ALL the most.

TO THE REST, so you all think you all wasting your time la, dont wanna read finish la HUH!! THEN WHY ARE U ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? COME SEE MY PRETTY PICTURE ON THE LEFT ONLY ISIT?!?! =X KANINA!! I love the ones who read finish more than I love you these group of people!!! HMPH!! HAHAHA. =X OKAY KIDDING KIDDING.

YUCKS LA, just want to be how act cute NICKY!
But no need act la har, I'm already cute. HUR. OKIE.

I'm disgusted.

And one more thing, Pray people...especially in times like these.
I must start my praying thingy before matches already =X REMEMBER ANOT WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME GIRLS?? =X PAISEH!! The juniors will not know la har, but the seniors..HURR..was teased for such a long time la.
BUT really it helps because His strength is the greatest and without Him and his strength, nothing is possible. And I will commit everything to His hands...The One who made me who I am today. (=
Thanks to my 2 youknowwho(s) for letting me see that. (=

BYE!

2006-03-15T11:32:00.000+08:00

I WANT THOSE BILLABONG BERMS PLEASE!!!!!
BEFORE ANYONE ELSE FREAKING GETS IT LA!
REALISED ALL THE NICE THINGS I WANT ALL PEOPLE HAVE ALREADY!!
$79.90!!!!!
AHHHHH!!

Think I should get a loan to buy it then pay back when I get my pay? HELP ME!! SHOULD I? Flood my tagboard and tell me what you think!!
_____

I want you here with me NOW so badly. =(
Really really. HUR.

Wish I could just take my mind off things because it sucks, big time. All these just won't leave me alone even during the holidays. ARGHS.

1st week burned...2nd week in the process. Did some useful things I reckon. 4 weeks more to go before I go back to my 2nd home. Then a week will be spent away from home which gives me only 3 weeks left! AHHHHHHHHH!!

PRECIOUS, when you read this, MESSAGE ME!...HUR, it's about O levels okay! LIKE DAMN IMPT! But no no don't msg, CALL. You got till 24th March to call because registration closes on 25th March!

And guess what, I'm mad ar, haven't complete PP yet. All I have left is CONCLUSION! Arghs, just a little inspiration and motivation will do but I'm always on the move these past few days...If only I had one day at home....ALL TO MYSELF....Then I'd do it. OKIE, the weekends then. LOL.

Alright, I need to go bathe and all and get ready to leave the house....Again.... Don't like arrrr. I want to sleep sleep sleeeep. HUR. Lucky I slept so much at the chalet to make up for all the lost sleep NOW! Why isit lost? BECAUSE I wake up to a blardie dry throat and nose every freakin' morning at 8am!!! ARGHS. Then I'll start coughing, my nose will hurt so badly and then I won't be able to go back to sleep la! ARGHS. Stupid throat. GROWLS!

HAIS. Bad temper...Bad everything. NICKY EH!
I miss Jill. HUR.
Now in all I do, I gotta have faith, right? =) *smiles.
Trust and leave everything in His hands. And everything will be alright. I believe.

OKIE. I got to go la harr. TOO LONG STORY.
Good day (=

2006-03-14T21:15:00.000+08:00

Update@11:32pm

I don't know who to trust anymore.
Everytime I take up my hp and want to type out something...
I think about who I'm going to send it to...and I realised, there's no one, completely no one...
I FUCKING HATE THIS.

Everytime I look through my MSN list and decide to tell someone,
Again, I go blank...No one... Just no one...

Maybe it's just me...
Maybe I'm the one at fault...
I think it's true, yes.
I'm problematic.
So you know what,
Leave me alone...

Whatver it is, this entry is for me, DON'T, i repeat, DON'T fucking assume.
_____

MY ROUTE FOR 14th MARCH 2006:
Home
SSDC
NYP
SSDC
(thankiew for waiting ehhhhh, paiseh)
TM
CS
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Went to walk a lot a lot with Sonia. Ate a lot a lot of junk food that's going to kill my throat and make us both so so fat =X And ya my throat ain't getting any better at all after drowning myself in water, drinking coconut juice, consuming cough syrup and the most recent one today drinking LO HAN GUO! EEKS. Went to the sinseh shop to buy it and it's disgusting I tell you! HURR. It's black somemore. SO SO BLACK. Then that's about it (= But it was all good. Just that laksa, fried fish wantons, crispy chicken and chocolates (we bought 2 big bars!!) should be stopped. HUR. And that's all what I ate today. Nicky eh. And I'm sitting here eating my white chocolate now. LOL! =X SHHH la don't nag.

HEE. So that's all la ehh for today. Haven't been updating.

Sunday was Yanzi's bday (= Went over to the bbq over at the chalet. HMMMS. Monday was school for Aust stuffs and then work...THATS ALL. BORING. LOL!

OKIE LA. Nothing to say. I'm happy because I have 2 big bars of chocolate now in my fridge, ALL MINE! The white chocolate I bought today and the one Sonia bought me on Saturdayyy (= WHEEEEE. CHOCOLATES!

Eh, I'm going...
Leave you guys with that pic!

This is the disgusting black drinkkkkk.

TATA!! =D

2006-03-11T17:23:00.000+08:00

update@12:02am

HEE, to cheer me up...Sonia got me a big big bar of chocolate (= So unexpected and so nice la. I LIKE. *my heart's smiling* HEE. Thankieww! (=

So I went church today. HEHS. Guess who came with me. HAHA. Sonia. Yes. Church was not so boring after all because we were sitting the front area or not most of the time I'll be camping behind la but sit in front can pay attention so ya =X

HEE. So I had good company for church which will motivate me go church so in conclusion right if I wanna go church, must have someone with me, other than my parents...If not I won't be motivated. HAHA. Sonia, u should just go with me every week OKIEEE? =D

And yeap...Wanted to go Mintmark & Co but she too tired so we headed to Tamp Mall instead to look for stuffies and had our dinner over at Cartel. (= UHHUH.

My throat ain't getting better...Think I'm gonna lose my voice man, seriously. Pain la. Drowned myself in water, no use. Drink coconut thingy (yucks) no use also. Lozenges doesn't work either and no no, no doctor. Freaking waste of money, he'll give me lozenges too -.- HURR. This pain is gonna stay with me, FOREVER. HUR.

Alright I need to go sleep. Got my lessons in the morning. SIGHS. Another morning thing. Weekends this week all wake up so early. Today 730am, tomorrow 7am. SIGHS la. BUT ITS OKIEE. =) Another whole day of fun to look forward to after my lessons. WHEEEE! =D Then from next week onwards my schdeule's in a mess la. Training schdeule ain't up yet. Wished they'd have fixed schdeules then I can plan my work schdeule and my daily schdeule as well. HURR. I need to chiong work and I only have 5 weeks to do so.

Just copied the whole of The Best of Air Supply album to my comp =X You all will be receiving Air Supply songs from me soon la. LOL! Chances (= NICE.

ALRIGHT. NEED TO SLEEP! Talking too much! TATA!!

And what if we can't speak
What then shall I say
Don't you be too long
Something has gone wrong
The chances are all gone

_____

It feels weird everytime you're around.
I guess it may just be guilt weighing down on me and what I've done was simply so uncalled-for.
Self-control, that's what I lack, so badly.
Body language tells it all...
Either that or I'm too sensitive.
But I'm sorry darling, really am.
I don't want your impression of me to change...
I still want to be the Nic that you knew from the start.

She asked me, 'Ni bu yao lian le ah?'
And it was then that I realised, this is too precious for me to let go...And I told her honestly that I'll be back. (= It's just a matter of time.

- SixtyOne.

2006-03-10T21:51:00.000+08:00

Thought I've found someone who'd understand,
someone I could trust about everything.
But I guess,
your intentions are now clear,
and it's not what I thought it was...
it's not what I expected...
It means nothing......to you.
Now I feel lost...
There's a tug at the heart but I'm still as confused...
My thoughts are in a mess...
Everything else is...nothing.

For now, it's me, work and driving, FULL STOP for these 6 weeks,
making you an exception of course (=
I'll be there, anytime you call.

I'm crazy. Slept for about 3 hours this morning, came home at 630am...then went out again at 10am. Bank, bus down to the driving centre, enrolled, Jill came to pick me up after that and headed over to her place for lunch (= Yummy okiee. Her maid cooked I think and they're like damn funny la those two. HEEE. And yes, today was what, my 2nd time sitting on her bike. First time, aft Wednesday's lunch. JEALOUS?? HEHE. That woman goes crazy on her bike but so damn shiok la I LOVE IT! Okie, then it was church to put down her ice hockey stuff, Ikea to get the KC girls chocolates and to BMSS for the KC C-Girls Championships. (= Congrats. 4th place in Singapore! WELL DONE GIRLS! Damn exciting matches. Then I headed home. Damn tired la.

So that's my day.

Am so glad these hols are finally gonna be packed (= I won't be lazing around for no reason at all. I need to earn back my money. For driving and yes, for Australia as well. Guess I'm gonna work hard at it since I'm using my own money eh? (= Faster chiong la eh and get it fast. By 2 months? I HOPE! HAHA. Impossible but hurr I WANT before my big day that is.

And my throat is fucking pain! It's itchy that I cough so badly. Cough too hard now it's pain!! PAIN LIKE HELL LA. =( And I talk funny, till I go out of tune =X

HURR =( PAIN LA!
and I have nothing else to say. I'm too tired la harrr.
BYE.

2006-03-08T10:08:00.000+08:00

Okay just let me say a few words before whatever la harr.

I'm having the worst sore throat ever and it's only at night that I cough and cough like crazy. ITS SO DAMN ITCHY CANNNN. =( Even when I cough it doesn't help clear my throat because the cough is so damn dry and now my ears hurt in the process. BLAH LA. =(

Out for lunch later with youknowwho. *winks. I can hardly wait.
Then I'll head over to Pasir Ris after that.

I'm going to start work, soon. MONEY MONEY for my driving. AINT CHEAP ALRIGHT. Checked out the fees already. HUR. Can't rely on Daddy alone can I? So yeaps. (=

OKIE, I need to start packing. ARGHS.

Will be back, soon. (= Don't miss me too much now.
There's still websms okie. I think 5 cents for sms is too expensive so don't waste money HEE. Just click on websms, I added the link. AND if you intend to msg, leave ur name. No time ah to guess guess all. -.- LOL!

AND I MADE A LIST OF THINGS TO DO DURING THE HOLS.
- Complete PP!
- Buy those Fishies
- Chiong driving!
- Cycling *ERHEMM.
- Loads of catching up with whoever!
- EXERCISE BABY!
- BE A GOOD GIRL. HAHA. =X
- AND EARN PLENTY MONEY!

(THATS ALL, for now.)

TATA LOVES (=

it beats,
for just one. (=

2006-03-07T14:34:00.000+08:00

update@11:37pm

I'm excited!!! About tomorrow till Friday! =D
HEE. (= *winks.

And I have a facial mask on, it's tightening! LOVE THE FEELING!
NICKY VAIN NYER!!! =X

OKIE I'm damn high la cos too excited already. SHHHH now =X
TATA!
_____

Clad in the most comfy clothes ever,
here I am, lying on my bed in the air con room.

The weather's a killer, you know?
It exhausts me like crazy just walking out in the open a bit. Either that or I'm just tired because I slept at 3:25am and woke up at 6:30am today. )= Double exhausted la.
BUT IT'S STILL SO DAMN HOT LA!

KC today for my PP (=
Like early in the morning. =( 7:45am.
It was 1 hour of Math and 1/2 an hour of PE during the 'sit in' of her lessons. Sat at the staff lounge for a few more questions, a chat with her and made my way down to the canteen to meet my Sis for her recess. (= Miss KC a lot a lot.

Meant to meet Precious after her prac but the girl wasn't feeling good so yeah. Take care okieeee. *hugs. Plenty water now! And yes so I headed off home.

Was dozing off in the bus and I hate changing buses laaa and both bus rides was so quick. I almost missed my bus stop okie if I did not wake up earlier. HUR and now I can't sleep. Shouldnt have switched on the laptop. BLAHH.

Realised that I haven't updated in a while eh? Nothing much has been happening anyways. Just going to be jam packed this week. Can't say the same for next week though, the calendar looks empty for now. I need to work now now nowww. =(

Yes, I'm going to Melbourne.

This is what my desktop looks like:

Look at the red 'post it', it's packed. Compare that to the yellow post it, it's EMPTY! Ask me out, find me a job. Anything. =(

I need to sign up for driving, like soon la HUR. Next week then since I'd be so damn free. HEHS.

OKAY NOW I'M HUNGRY.

I'm going to do some hunting at the place opposite my room. TATA.

2006-03-04T23:01:00.000+08:00

Operation Fun was awesome la. (= That's all I can say to describe it because it's the only word I can think of and I don't feel like going into detail you know. Heh heh. Just waiting for Liying for the pics (= HEE. LIYINGG!!

The girls came over to my place after that since got match ma over at TSH so yeaps it was Nat Girlfriend Joreen and Ouch. Makan-ed, showered, napped, disturbed my fishies, whatever you can think of, all have la har. Haha.

They played so well that I just wanted to go hug every single one of them after the match la but I was too clean so I didn't, considering the game was so damn fast and they were too sweaty.

The girl, or rather, the woman I look up to and trust the most in the world asked me out to chat about me one day and thinking about it and thinking about what to say to her, I feel like I'm damn messed up la. Maybe it's just me la harr but I'm looking forward to it, definitely. (=
Am just afraid because everything she says hits the spot, bull's eye, agree? Amazing how humans hate the truth. We'd all rather be in this world that is filled with lies than to actually face the truth. Well, I can't say that about everyone right because it ain't fair but I'm not afraid to say that, I belong to that group of people la harr. But I guess it's time that I faced the truth. No more hiding and feeling upset about things that I'm not supposed to be upset about and make sucha fuss bout it. Sighs.

And then, there's Melbourne. GEE.

The day went well I must say but I just had to spoil it with stupid thoughts. I'm damn tired. I shall end off here, take a shower and try to get some sleep.

Alright, take care people! (=

i feel so silly,
for...all that has happened.
i don't know where i stand in ur heart.
and im unsure about where u stand too.
this is so crazy.
someone should just slaughter me,
like now.

2006-03-03T01:09:00.000+08:00

update@3:14pm

It's last day of school. This is so crazy but, what the hell am I going to do for 6 weeks la. I don't want to work but well I would have to if I want to survive these 6 weeks! SIGHS!

Then after 6 weeks would be new campus, new faces, new class, new classmates. =( SAD LA!

I don't want to leave Tanglin. Too many memories. Far too many. FOP was here and I hold that closest to my heart. SIGHS LA I TELL YOU!
My staircases! MY EVERYTHING! Must go find comfortable spots in Woodlands already LOL! =X

Currently waiting for Sonia's call then I'll make my way down to town to meet her. Yawns. Class ended like at 2 today. There was no presentation. Just the 6p by Friso. HEEEE! =D Best nyerr. (= Glad I came la har today's lesson not bad. Work-able. LOL.

Maybe I should head downstairs now. Tamp to Town not very far also hor?

Alright, leaving leaving. TATA.
_____

The craziest trip around Singapore today la -.-
This happens when you oversleep and don't want to go to school and want to hide it from your parents and making them think you went to school HAHA.

So here goes:

Tampines
- Home Sweet Home (riiighhht.)

Toa Payoh
- Initial meeting point but was changed after.
- Slacked at Library.

Yishun
- Met Dian.

Paya Lebar
- Headed there to pass her classmate some BBQ stuff.

Redhill
- Both of us then headed down to sch.
Her, for rehersal.
Me, for class party and briefing.

Town
- Accompanied by Jar & Ouch.
- Pastamania for us (=
- Walked around, Cine, Heeren, FAR EAST.

Tampines
- Movie-ed with Sonia (=
- Underworld Evolution 9:25pm show.
- Home Sweet Home.

GREAT MOVIE! But don't watch this kinda gruesome movie with her la. You'll have bruises at the end of the day with her fingernails dug into your skin at every eeky scene HURR.
And I'll exchange one day with you Joey since I got Sonia today. HEE. You can have her on Saturday. LOL!
Joreen, jealous ma? And yes, I had her to myself in that dark dark place. ;) HEEE.
HAHAHA to U!

It's amazing how I can smile,
at the very thought of you.
Yet sometimes I get so depressed,
at the very thought of you as well.
You know,
you're the only one who can make me the happiest
and the saddest girl ever?
You bring me up so high,
just to throw me down a bottomless pit.

Now that I'm confused, I only have myself to blame. SIGHS. I don't know what the hell I'm doing la but thank God the hols are coming. Shall take this time to THINK.

That's all I have to say. Spent the day out with so many people at different times (= LOVE IT!

baby,
you ain't no substitute.

2006-03-01T14:08:00.000+08:00

Alright so I missed Sentosa today =(
And I'm not feeling any better laaa. Might just skip class tomorrow as well. Sighs, sleepy. Means this week I only went for 1 lesson so far HURR but it's like the last week la so everyone's attendance is going to look pretty much the same. Some kind of trend in RP so yahhh.

Just went to school yesterday for 1 freakin' hour for beta testing and woohooo I got my 4 DA. That leaves me with active points left to collect now! HEE! Need not be diploma related. HEH.

Dinner was alright too. Full of yummylicious fooood.

And now I'm just here doing nothing, the whole day. I should really start working on my PP again but I'm lazy. Tomorrow k. HUR. =(

I WISH I WAS AT SENTOSA NOW LA FUCK COS IM BORED. =( But this thing is killing me, so bad =( And now a headache just wanna come out of nowhere. =(

It's 8 freakin' months.

and i feel bitter. sour. sweet. spicy.
HAHA. hais.

i miss girlfriend.
and i miss school.
i miss everything.
and i miss you.

2006-02-28T02:22:00.000+08:00

update@12:00pm

Update time.
SO okie,
the first death in my fish tank.

A PRAWN.

Everyone please keep a minute of silence.

That prawn was always alone la eating the soil from the plant in my fish tank. HURR. And now, it looks cooked. HURRRR.

U all choose la har, Sonia or Joreen. I don't know which is which.

TATA.
_____

Look at the time. Goodness. Let me just blog something okie.

So today was alright I guess. School was fine. Breakfast was fine with Seri Nad and Yan. Lunchie was fine with Girlfriend, Girlfriend's friend and Sher. Lesson was fine with my usual teammates. Class was fine with usual classmates. Slacking time was fine with usual slacking mates after class. Hehs. AND GUESS WHAT, I'm writing my report la, LIKE FINALLY. Singapore's going to snow. HAHAHA. Thanks to Miss Motivator, I started on it ok because she was doing it also and she made me start. -.- But IM THANKFUL THAT YOU DID LA! HAHA. Thankiew with all the smooches. LOL.

Hitched a ride with the girls to Tampines. Wanted to go get my hair cut but realised my cheque wasn't cleared, YET! So I did not, took a bus back home. I started sneezing for I don't know what reason. Received a call from Joreen and Girlfriend to buy contact lens stuff la to bring it over to them. So I went home, took a quick shower, and left for interchange to buy their stuff and headed down to training grounds. (= Felt so good to watch them play. Love you girls la kays. Hung around till they ended training. Had dinner with Joreen at Macs and headed back home after that. BUMPED INTO SONIA TOO!

I must have been crazy to go down because this nose ain't making me feel good la but it's okay for her sake, and Joreen's sake. Better mention her name also if not, =X HEHE. Okie kidding la, of course for your sake also ok! I can't possibly leave you there with an itchy eye right!!

And now, at 2:15am, I'm sitting in my living room with tissues, a cup of water, runny nose medicine and my laptop surrounding me!! Sighs, I can't sleep la. Just waiting for the drowsy effect of the medicine to get to me and I'll knock out. SOON.

Back back back to work. I better not side track too long...

To you,
Please eat properly.
Please sleep early.
Please study for UT!
And be a good girl,
for just one more week.
Nicky's here. *hugs.

GOOD NIGHT PEOPLE OF ALL SIZE AND AGES.
okay, what's with size and ages =X

this tingling feeling in my heart (=

2006-02-26T14:40:00.000+08:00

Despite being hungry, I did not care. I just threw temper la and refused to eat whatever was there because I don't like!! SO SPOILT KAN? Hehs. NICKY! TSK!

Then, when my mood uplifted a little, I had yummy grapes (so healthy!) then went to the kitchen to explore, open the fridge and freezer. Decided to make something I've never made before. Took out sausages, tuna w/chilli padi, mozarella cheese and eggs. (: Mixed the egg with the tuna. Put that in the frying pan first then added in the sausages...Waited for all to cook then spread the mozarella cheese on top and TADAAAA! Yummmy yummy. Everyone loved it okie. Sister Grandma and ME! Daddy refused to eat it la!!! HMPH! He never eats anything I cook la. HAIS. Always said he has to pray before eating. =(

BUT YAY! I love cooking and throwing everything into the frying pan and end up all the chapalang thingy tasting so goodddd.

HEE!

=D YAY. OKIE. I'M HAPPY BUT SUDDENLY REALISED, I got UT tomorrow. -.- SPOILER. I want to go sleep and then read 6p later or something la. BLAH!

Entertain you guys with some photos we took yesterday before I leave! (=

My Pretty executives (= HEE.

Nice (= Nad Seri Jar Nic.

My Pretty Girlfriends!

Nicky Jar Ouch! (=

Us, at Swens with Jill & Sonia.

Me and Soniaa (=

That's all! NICE? HEE.

BYEE!

2006-02-26T01:59:00.000+08:00

I love the time spent with Jill.
I love when she's talking to me, alone.
I love when she reads my mind.
I love it that she knows exactly how I feel.
I love it when her words mean so much.
I love it when she makes me think.

I miss her la )=

But thankiew, for coming down today,
and spending time with us. (=
People who weren't with us, jealous? LOL.

Jill Sonia Nicky Joey Hajar Seri Nadiah.

Today was spent outside, although I did say I wanted to spend the weekend at home to sleep. Sheesh but it was worthwhile, wasn't it? (=

Watched Moosettesz game for like 20 mins and left to meet Nad over at City Hall. Walked to MS for lunch where Jar and Seri joined us. We just had lunch and headed down to Esplanade's roof terrace (= Slacked over at L2's meeting point when they suggested asking Jill to spend the evening with us and she agreed to. She then came over with Joey and Sonia too. Headed back to MS for Carls' Jr then to Swensens. HEE. What a delightful day.

And yes, Sonia scored today, but i did not see. Darn.

I guess I shall leave my sleeping to tomorrow.

I'm still contemplating about you know what.
I can't find it in me anymore.
I can't find the strength to carry on.

I guess, for now I just don't know what I want.
Jill's words kinda stung when she spoke about floorball, and the coach. I just kept away and seeked comfort in my phone where I sms-ed away to you know who. The only one I could talk to, about all this.

Sighs la.

I think it's best if I went to sleep, like now before my mind goes crazy again.

GOOD NIGHT.

You and Me.

2006-02-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

I'm just messing myself up,
big time.

Don't know what's wrong with me la.
My temper has been so damn bad of late and I've been the most moody person ever.
Hope I did not affect anyone around me but just want to thank those who tried to talk to me and all. Really appreciate it.

Maybe it's just the lack of sleep that is getting to me. I'm going to just hide this whole weekend and sleep it all away. Just wait for a new week to come and start all over again.

This week have had its good and bad. The good was really good and the bad, was bad. Like for every 5 good things that happens, you'll get 10 bad things thrown at you la. )=

Took a bus home from town today. It was 518A la. I thought it would still pass by my house but it didn't!! It came out from a totally different expressway that headed straight into Pasir Ris instead of going to Bedok first and it stopped one stop before my bus stop! I walked back because I was too lazy to cross the overhead bridge to take a bus back and it's like how far la BUT it's okay because the breeze was damn nice and I was accompanied by the music on my player (= HEE.

Wild wild wet finally sent my pay check after how many million years and just nice they sent it when I'm almost broke (= HEEEE! Well done to them, for once! =X Kinda miss working there actually but too late to go back now. I forgot everything and I don't want to learn again. I should just return my uniform as well and I'll get like 30 bucks back!

Alright that's too much to say for one entry. I'll be back to update, soon. (=

You may be,
the one for me,
afterall. (=

2006-02-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

update@6:58pm

What shit did I get myself into?
How am I supposed to compromise to both sides now?
How is it that I'm supposed to make both sides happy and just end up getting myself upset?

If you're not happy, why did you agree to it in the first place?
Can't we just get this over and done with?
Can you just act like you're okay with it?

I don't want this already =(
Really, just want to cry, like now.

Maybe I should be the one backing out...
_____

If you put your faith in me
How beautiful you and I would be

)=

Do you know I exist
Just to promise you this
Endlessly to be true to you
And if you answer my prayer
I'd cross my heart and I'd swear
Endlessly to be true to you

hais.

2006-02-22T13:27:00.000+08:00

update@6:40pm

Just want to be how irritating la. First I spill the maggi mee BOILING HOT soup on my hand then Singnet just want to act funny and make my internet connection all weird till I had to call them up and wait so blardie long before I got assistance.

Then because of that scalded hand, I had to put butter on it and walked around with the house with a buttered hand la!! GRRRRS. FUCK LA now it hurts so much and the whole area is COLD la! DAMMIT!

I'm not in my very best of moods and the RJ I got today just had to make it worst! DAMMIT AGAIN!

You have had a tough time looking for new job after graduation but finally, after 10 months, you land yourself a good job. On your first day, you find that your supervisior is your classmate who was lucky and mangaged to get a head start on you. What is your first reaction? How do you reconcile with this scenario? You are also aware that you were a better student in school - what strategies would you use in this unusual relationship?

Tell me la what kind of stupid RJ is this! ARGHHS.

And now my nose just want to act funny and making me sneeze la!! GRRRR la i tell you!!!!!! GERAM!

ANGRY LA BYEE!!!!
_____

I'd be your everything

I'm supposed to be happy, but it's a bittersweet feeling. Like knowing it's impossible yet I'm happy. I smiled and grinned like a crazy girl. If only I could read minds then I'd know what you're thinking or perhaps, you could just tell me?

Sitting here in class, marketing in sports, wondering, just wondering.

My fish tank is clean once again. HEE. It has a plant now and yes my 8 fishes aren't swimming together anymore because there's no more mist and they won't get lost. HAHA. I want to make it colourful la, it's a bit on the dull side. HEE shall go fish tank accessories shopping one fine day. (= LOL! I got 8 places for the fishies already.
8 Fishies named after my 8 friends.

1. Cheng Yan
2. Jess
3. Hajar
4. Sherilyn
5. Joey
6. Meiwei
7. Yati
8. Pang

Still have yet to get those 2 other fishiess. (=
Yes, I can watch my fishies swim around till I fall asleep again. Heeee.

And I've become FATTER. How?! Don't like la too much fats. AHHH abit already enough la.

Went over to BK then to Tiasa. Sleepy. 3rd meeting, about to start. Yawns. And to think I took one whole day to blog this entry. Haha. So many distractions. Yawns la okie. I can't wait to go home and sleep. HEE and watch my fishies.

I have this urge to go club, like now. Okay, not at 1:18pm but just club la. CAN?
And I want to catch a movie. LIKE NOW ALSO. HURR.

There's so many things I want to do. Am just waiting for my allowance.

Hope school ends early today then I won't have to fight with people for seats in the train. Peaceful bit boleh tak? HURR.

Missed training yesterday because of Beta Testing and there's no training on Thursday. Darn. Whatever la harr. I'm tired, of floorball. HOW. I don't want to play already la. HAIS. =(

Finally went home with Pretty yesterday after how many million years. Miss having those talking sessions with her on the way home to ys. Some small kid was our entertainment for awhile as well. LOL. Sheesh. Cute laaa but fierce and strong ehhh but still cute, BUT~~ not as cute as me. *giggles.

OKAY I SHALL STOP HERE before the rubbish starts. I'm sleepy. Tired. Yawns.

TATA!

You'll never be alone again,
cos I will hold you endlessly
I Miss You.

2006-02-21T14:12:00.000+08:00

update@9:55pm

(=
_____

Replies.

pisang;
bored ehh. me too, currently.

sher;
it still is lorrr =(

your bf;
heeee. reply already, happy?

joeyy;
(= heeee. i love the pretty gurls, and my duckie. lol.

2006-02-20T16:18:00.000+08:00

Now where should I start replying to tags? So many la.
Hehs but I love it alright, just keep it coming. From the start la harr.

Dine; (=
Joeyy; heee. thankiew and keep flooding!
Sher; (= love it too! that's why it's my blog song.
Joreen; of cos la, she my gf, you're Joreen. haha. big diff worr.
Jar & Joey; so now my board is a form of communication la harr? HAHA.
Fish; all the best to us ehh (=
Sher; HUR.
#66; you like huh, dedicate to you then (=
Joeyy; ya la how liddaatt? =(

Okay I should just reply to tags more often if not replying it so late would be a headache la. Took me awhile to make that list. Hehs.

Woke up at 10am today. Shiok nyer. And yes, they allowed me to skip school with a totally stupid reason that I gave la. To think they allow me to skip using this reason rather than the 'I'm sick' reason. Gee. 'Sup with that eh.

Anyways planned to just sit around and watch the fishes today but my Grandma dragged me out with her to Parkway. We just walked around. Grocery shopping!!! MY FAVE! =D And we had lunchie at Pastamania! (= My prawn aglio, finally! Hehs.

School tomorrow )= UT too! Double sighs. Stupid java. Go to hell la!

But so far so good today eh. If only I don't have to go to school tomorrow and every other day. Wake up every morning in peace without having someone to scream at me to wake up.

Alright, I don't know what to say anymore. Yawns.

TATA.

You're still the one
I want for life

2006-02-19T20:14:00.000+08:00

Just realised how all my blog entries are so damn long la so I'll just TRYY keep this one short. Hehs. (=

Alright guess what! I HAVE A FISH TANK IN MY ROOM NOW! =D And I love it alright. I can just lie on my bed and watch them swim till I fall asleep, seriously =X It has 8 small little fishies inside and will be adding 2 more soon ;) Waiting to bring Pretty to go buy. WHEEEE! Now I won't complain I'm bored anymoreeeeee. So nice you know watching them swim around. (=

Today it was just me and Dad! He picked me up after church (yes I finally went after weeks of trying to escape la) and brought me go for lunch!! He wanted to bring me to Serangoon Gardens but realised the place he wanted to bring me to was closed and after driving around for awhile he decided to go Jalan Kayu! So we did. Both of us had Chicken Briyani...JUST WANNA BE HOW EXPENSIVE LA but it's okay (= Hehs. Then we went to pick Mummy up from work and headed to buy 4D (LOL!) and then to fish farm to get the tankie and fishies! (= HEEE. Okay la so yes it was father-daughter bonding today. Hehs. And father-mother-daughter bonding after that. Been awhile ehhh. Sis was out with friends so yaaa...Hee.
THANKIEW DADDY FOR THE FISH TANK AND FISHIES!!

OKIE. School tomorrow. Am trying to convince my parents to let me skip because it'll be so empty la if I went tomorrow. STILL TRYING!

SIGHS!

ALRIGHT, I shall say goodbye and go find something else to do. YAWNS. Take care people (=

I know it's hard to believe
You're still the biggest part of me
All I'm living for

2006-02-19T00:15:00.000+08:00

Hehs I'm having some stupid sneezing thingy and it's irritating the hell out of me and I'm super duper tired but I can't really get to sleep and I have no idea why. And and I'm so grumpy that I can just go on and on la. SIGHS.

Think I might just take MC for Monday. Go to the doctor, tell him about this stupid excruciating pain in my tummmy every morning and that shall be the excuse I would give my parents too.

SIGHS LA. Today is such a sigh-ful day =(

I don't know what I'm thinking.
I dont know what I want.
Wait wait,
I know what I want but I don't know anything and everything that's going on.
You know what, I think I should not say a word and just let my actions do the talking. Hopefully, just hopefully, you'll know then I would not have to start all over again. AND hopefully, just hopefully, this time, it's MUTUAL. Scary nyerr.

Think I might just spend my whole Sunday at home sleeping. And Monday too, that is if I convince my parents to let me skip la harr.

I don't want to wake up to an excruciating pain in my heart too every morning =(

Let's see the plans next week.
Monday - OH PLS LET ME SKIP SCH!
Tuesday - Java UT 4 & Beta testing =(
Wednesday - Marketing UT 4 =(
Thursday - Training
Friday -
Saturday -
Sunday - SFL w/Storm.

My dear Sweetie and Baobei, when are we meeting up? Hehs.

Let's talk about something else.
Saw this really nice looking bracelet thingy over at Bits & Pieces. By the looks of it, guess it's not cheap and I did not want to ask the price either so yeahh. It's the m+y collection and it's damn nice la. HUR. Maybe I should go ask one day eh for the price, for fun and just admire it for awhile. HEHS. You all reading this go see also. It's nice (= *giggles.

What else can I say?
Oh ya, so many movies I want to watch la and all these movies have to come out either when I no time to watch or I'm short of cash. DARN LA. Let's see what movies are there okie.
So there's...
- I Not Stupid too (I KNOW LA I LAGGING STILL HAVENT WATCH!)

Then there's movies that aren't opened yet.
- Mad Hot Ballroom
- Rumour Has It
- Final Destination 3

SIGHS LA.

Then the holidays are coming. Hopefully that job we got will keep my wallet going.

How about Melbourne? Sad to say I'm currently contemplating. I'm not eager about it anymore la. Although I've never been there before, but I don't know why I just don't want to go. =(

Alright alright I'm really tired and I'm sleepy already so I better get going.

GOOD NIGHT.

2006-02-18T01:50:00.000+08:00

I think I'm going to dream about cows, burgers and soy tonight man considering how much I played that Mcdonald's game that Pretty sent today~ Goodness! Addictive like hell ah that one! And the cows grow fat too sloww. TSKKKKK! Haha okie enough about that.

I'm damn tired la but still here blogging. My clock reads 1:38am.
I have a game tomorrow and I'm still not asleep, crap.
Alright soon soon after I'm done with this.

SO it was out with the girls today.
Yati Syah Fish Joey Ducky Sher Deb.
Hope I din miss out anyone but this should be it la harr.

-off track a bit here-

Suddenly miss Girlfriend. Ha.

-ok continue-

Yeaps I said that because she did not come out with us today~ Was hoping she was going to!

Eh. Watched like 2 contestants at the semis of RP Idol and we went off. Sheesh. Went to makan over at Lido and we treat the place like our house la! Pushing the tables to join together all... As Jar would say, 'Ya Allahhhhh'. HAHA. Waddahell la Nic but yaaa. And we just sat there after to chit chat but changed location thereafter over to the back of Wheeloocckkkk. (= Love it. Deb and Sher left. Walked over to Forum's Toys R Us after that and just wandered around like kids la. Even played with the hula hoops cannnnnnn! -.- HAHA. AND SOMETHING FUNNY HAPPENED BEFORE THAT. Fish was happily looking at my tied up tail and laughing at it, she did not see the thing in front of her, she sort of tripped over it and her leg went into that patch of grass opposite Far East Shopping Centre!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHA!! FUNNY NYERR!! okie people who weren't present wouldn't understand la har but me Yati and Syah was so amused that we laughed all the way to Forum la until stomach muscle ache! FUNNY!! Haha, laugh at my hair somemore la SEE! bleahhhs! Haha. Ok la better dont say anymore wait get scolding. LOL! We still love you ah Pang!! =D

Then after playing around just walked walked walked all the way to Cine....WEEHEE. =D Saw the cutie thingy in the shop and just went crazy again laaaa. Yati did her shopping and then all of us left to take bus home except Pang who take the train.

Eeeyer think today a bit not in the mood to take bus because the bus ride seemed extremely long la...36 to airport and 34 back home felt like 2 hours! Did not see what time I left town so no exact time. Hehs. But it was oh so oh so long, just today. Blahhhs.

ALRIGHT. I talk too much and some of you all might not have survived till here =X *giggles. And my eyes feel all giddy-ishhh. Haha. Signing off...

GOOD DAY PEEPS (:

10 days more,
I can just smell my lost sleep.

2006-02-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to write for RJ so I guess I shall just blog first since I have some things to say.
First thing,
FUCK YOU ASSHOLES
who discriminates lesbians, gays and bisexuals!
Here's a statement by an absolute asshole:

money talks , everybody walks says:
well, i say to u once again. FUCK LESBIANS , GAYS , BISEXUALS
money talks , everybody walks says:
they are the condemn people on Earth. they deserve nothing

Hehs, lucky he's not my friend or...GRRRR...
But this is all I have to say to you:
BASTARD, FUCK YOU.

He better watch out.
Watch your back man.
You're no longer human to have said something like that.

Why waste my blog space on such people but it's okay, I just want everyone to see how shallow humans can get nowadays. -shakes head-

Alright, so today I participated in training after such a long time and it feels SO DAMN GOOD! (: WOHOOOO! Like floorball rocks la! YOU KNOW ANOT? Hehe. Could just feel the rush when I was running la and I ran with all my might. But still so many things I have to learn, so many silly mistakes. ): Sadded la, my learning curve is going down, damn fast. Hehs.

And girlfriend, please take care of yourself okie. ): EAT PROPERLY!
Everyone, having gastric ain't fun...It'll eventually lead to gastric flu and your body then will reject everything you eat and drink and you'll start vomitting until your stomach nothing left but gastric juices attacking the walls la!

I should just go do my work now and stop blogging. Tired la.
Want to go snooze already.

One last thing,
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Sixtyone

hee go do (:

TATA!!

i'm still here,
just so you know.

2006-02-15T14:02:00.000+08:00

Okay time for a proper entry. Realised haven't done one in a long time.
Marketing in Sports class today. Like yawns la but thankfully got these bunch of mad girls if not really will skip class till might as well don't skip already.
Presentation going on now and I'm happily typing this entry la. Haha like what the hell is wrong with me.

Now that that has happened, I'm so afraid to sleep at night la.
Reading the things I found on the internet, they say I should be less afraid of death, but I guess, I din go deeper into the whole thing so I din get to find out much la har. And now I'm just more afraid. Time to repent. HUR.

Class ended so damn early today. 1:30pm. Haha. Shiok nyer. Cos we started class like 12plus la harr. If only every week was like that.

V day was spent in school and sleeping. How wonderful. Sheesh.

Alright time to leave sch...
Can't wait to hang out with the girls again. (:

A note to all.
Thanks for being in my life.
*hugs.

And to you...
"...you're still, stuck my heart."

2006-02-14T23:52:00.000+08:00

(=
smiles.

2006-02-11T11:04:00.000+08:00

easier than I thought

and the person i ended crying about this time...
wasn't you...

not anymore...

2006-02-09T09:17:00.000+08:00

Kai Xin Jiu Hao

UT is going on and here I am happily typing my blog entry. Hehs. But I'm already done. Just waiting for the time to end. Don't want to submit so early you know wait people think I crazy. Hehs.

My iTunes has been playing Jay's songs la and 'An Jing' gets to me all the time especially this part, 'xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni, wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai'. Hehs my hanyupinyin sucks but it means in direct translation, 'Hope he really loves you more than I do, then I'll force myself to leave.' Hehs. Now that doesn't sound very right either but somewhere along that line la eh. You all understand can already. Heh heh.

Realised I haven't been blogging for quite some time eh. Never had the time to, or rather the inspiration or RATHER, I wasn't bored enough to HEHS. Did you hear? I was hit by food poisoning. Reckon it was gastric flu because the last time i vomitted everything I took in, the doctor said it was gastric flu. This time he said it was food poisoning. *pui! How do they know just by listening to the activity going on in your tummy eh? Amazing ah. Maybe food poisoning and gastric flu got different beats and rhythm. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Now that's funny =X HEH HEH.

Girlfriend's crazy. BLAHS. Was msging her thru out during my aftnn nap ytd. Kept waking up and going back to slp to reply cos she was bored waiting for time to pass to go teach tuition. Then came home complaining to me on MSN abt her grades HUR. Relax ehh, it'll be fine, really (:

AND talking about aftnn naps...YTD JUST WANNA BE HOW NOISY!! Motorbikes can all go bang wall la. Wanna vrooom past so loud...KNS. I'll smash their helmets I tell you!! Can't sleep in peace. BLURGH!

Training later. Hehs, feelingless...Just go la har. If don't go, i'll get hell from everyone esp......sighs. WHINES. NVM.

And I've been sleeping so much. Guess am just making up for lost sleep la har. CAN'T WAIT FOR THE HOLIDAYS! Need to go find a job, get my PP done, get my FYP going and all. ISH. So many rubbish ehhh. That's what schooling life is all about. But I think, I'd rather study all my life than to slog like a mad idiot for money. Hehs. I want someone rich to marry and support me, then I won't have to worry about all this and study all my life. HEH HEH.

Okay this is long enough for one entry LOL. Lesson is starting. Java -.- BOOOOO.

BYE!

2006-02-05T19:14:00.000+08:00

You're 21

Happy 21st Birthday Precious (:

Hmmms. Stayed at home the whole of today. Don't feel like going anywhere anyways. Just went out for awhile to get some stuff with Dad and Mum, that's it. So good girl eh.
COS I'M TIRED. ):

School tomorrow. Lazy la. ): And I'm going to say again, I'm tired la.
Yawns.

Actually I nothing to say already leh. Haha. Just wanted to blog a birthday entry. DAH.

Go sleep everyone. Sleeping is good. Renews your skin and all. So sleep early. Hehs.

I'm going to post up the pics of the fireworks that we saw that day upclose!! 30th Jan if I'm not wrong! These are the ones that came out the nicest. (: ENJJOOYY!

TATA.

Let me be the one
to share your hopes
and dreams with
You'll never be alone again,
cuz' I will hold you endlessly

2006-02-04T23:34:00.000+08:00

it's not okay ):

i'm sorry girls...

2006-02-03T22:59:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Darling!

That's the cake that the floorball girls got her. (: YEAH.
SO PRETTY EHHH!
See her smile only everyone happy.
She happy, we happy.
Hope you had a great day girl! (:

So tired leh today. Don't know what's wrong ah. It has only been 2 days of school and I'm so tired out.

I feel bitter leh how. Now, I hate guys more than ever. Words can't express my hatred. All can just go burn in hell, NOW! Howwww. KNS. Don't like. DON'T LIKE, LIKE HELL!

I can't wait to leave Singapore, you know?
Won't say la har where I'm going but whoever knows, DON'T SAY. Hehs.
If not you all won't see tomorrow la!

Alright I should really get going.
I'm tired.
BYE.

i miss you.