Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Lemme just add on some pics as promised. (=

That's my ugly fat leg with the 2 bruises that was caused by the sliding of my knee on SMOOTH GROUNDS. blahs.

Little thing at work with me. That's one of the order tags!! =D 61 leh!

It reads 'Nicole the pig'. Stella's EVIL WORK!! She calls me a pig cos I love to sleep. Cos whenever she msgs...I'll be slping, all the time =X
_____
I could never understand what's making you stay...
And what's making me stay. Alright, I'm lying about the second part but ya, I could never understand why you're still here.
Like wouldn't it be a load off your shoulder if I just left or you just told me you saw no point to this anymore? No ah? More freedom ma...Nicky will no longer be part of you...Your heart will be lighter... Then you'll feel less obligated to do stuff or rather..just hang out with me for the sake of just being there with me. I don't want you to feel obligated anymore. Can?
I'm such a bitch la can, I admit. Just tell it to my face man. Why are you all still my friends leh? Tell me!! ARH!
Workie tomorrow with the cute girl again! *jumps. Or not I can't be bothered to go work seh. And I want to go swim and get my tan can! But it freaking rains every day now arr.
Training today was wah lau eh what's wrong with the world man...She made us run 10 rounds after drills. Of which 8 rounds of running...each round in 2 mins and 1 round she let us walk. So this time its only 9 rounds. Ya. All in the name of fitness. Runs and more runs.
My emotions has just been a rollercoaster of late. I'd be so damn upset and start to tear for no fucken reason then I'd be so fucking angry and scream vulgarities. I should stop drinking water because I kinda realise the excess water will go into my tear ducts. HAHA will it? =X Anyhow jer.
And wah lau eh this week just want to pass how fast ar. In less than a week I'll be saying goodbye to this island for about 7 days. But not much to worry because I have my girls with me la and they're all I need now! And we'll just throw Sonia into one of your bags eh?
Arh, need my dose of emo-ness at Mr Merlion's house and nicotine so badly.
Why do I feel like I've been disappointed by the whole world leh? This sounds so familiar can. Jill said it to me once that everyone else can disappoint you but only He won't. So ya, I've just been feeling so....alone... Like the thought of who I can turn to now will just be..Empty. No one. I just have to rebuild my faith again, slowly.
Who can I rely on anymore?
Sad to say, I'm sorry, but I don't think I see that in anyone anymore.
Only Him...and I've yet to find the strength.
But I understand, no one's perfect. We're all humans, right? So what can I expect from everyone else if I'm just going to let myself down... I must learn to accept myself before whatever la harrr. Sounds familiar eh? Been hearing this for the past 2 days by the one who has been talking to the team for the longest time.
I'm just so into myself la that I need to snap out of this shit, seriously and just wake up.
I want to go wash up and go to sleep. Freaking tired and my muscles hurt so bad that I can hardly walk properly.
Signing out.
I don't want to be the Nicky that
you all once knew anymore...
I know I'm going against Jill's words, again, but sorry I can't bring myself to be nice...not anymore.
10:54 PM
caught